


Just a Memory

by SaoryEmanoelle



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Accidental Death, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Forgiveness, Ghosts, M/M, Other, Recovery, References to Depression, Spirits, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 14:38:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19703416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaoryEmanoelle/pseuds/SaoryEmanoelle
Summary: It felt natural, this thing between them. Like a connection of sorts, one both could feel and enjoy. Vanitas liked him, the blond. He liked his smile and his laughter. He liked how sweet he was and he loved his drawings too.All he wanted was for someone to reach for him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [effwit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/effwit/gifts).



> Effwit :D I was originally going to use the "Vampires" prompt for this one but decided to leave that for the future.
> 
> Instead, I wrote this one with your first prompt in mind (Supernatural/Horror elements/Ghosts). It turned out much longer than I expected it to but I hope you like it! 
> 
> (PS: I love soft Vanitas so I tried to write him like that here. I hope it turned out good ;w; ).

**Sora:**

And if you feel lonely you can just give us a call! - 2:34 PM

Xion can take us there in no time! - 2:34 PM

**Xion:**

Ooor he can just come home instead u.u - 2:35 PM

**Vanitas:**

That’s what I get for being the best brother, uh? - 2:40 PM

 **  
** **Xion:**

THE BROTHER WHO ABANDONED US D< \- 2:42 PM

Jk, we love you, big dork - 2:43 PM

Miss you already! <3 <3 - 2:43 PM

**Vanitas** :

I miss you too. Both of you! - 2:45 PM

**Sora:**

<3 - 2:46 PM

**Vanitas:**

<3 - 2:47 PM

Almost home! - 2:48 PM

**Xion:**

Almost? You’re driving?? - 2:50 PM

**Vanitas**

8D - 2:50 PM

**Xion:**

jfc stop replying while on the road - 2:51 PM

I’m not going to save you if you crash the car! - 2:50 PM

**Vanitas:**

Rude. - 2:53 PM

Vanitas chuckled, throwing his cellphone on the passenger’s seat and smiling at the view. The sky was clear and he could see the Sun slowly and gently spreading out its rays of light over him. It felt nice; the cool wind on his face along with the still shy warmth welcoming yet another day.

He checked the time on his wrist watch then looked back to the road, keeping both hands on the steering wheel. Vanitas had turned the radio off half an hour ago when the sound of music started to distract him from the scenery. He liked to travel and he absolutely adored to go on road trips like this. 

The best part of traveling for him had always been the trip back home. It was funny to realize then that today home would be his first destination instead of his last one.

A smile found its way to his lips as soon as he arrived in the town. It was a much smaller town than the one he had come from. Vanitas observed everything as he drove through it, taking another look at the houses and stores he would see every day from now on, and his smile grew bigger the moment he finally arrived at the beautiful house that was now his.

Vanitas had already been there two weeks before with his sister and his brother when they helped him bring all of his belongings, save for a few clothes he’d use before moving in. It had been a mess; the three of them had sung all the way, cracking out stupid jokes all the time and Vanitas was still surprised at how nothing had been broken. Surprised, yes, but not complaining.

It had been a long, hard way until this moment and he was proud of himself. He held the keys in his hand, kissed them and walked the front stairs, unlocking the door with a happy sigh.

He put down his suitcase, resting his hands on his waist and taking his sweet time to look. The corridor in front of him was filled with paintings on the wall, paintings Xion herself had made for him. Taking a glance to the left he could see what was going to be his office, a rather small room with enough space for him to draw, now as good as new thanks to Sora’s amazing cleaning skills.

Vanitas shook his head, not hiding just how proud he was of his siblings. If he could, he’d bring them to live with him. Maybe after Sora was done with High School and Xion had graduated from college he could invite them over. After all, there was plenty of space! Besides, it’d be good for them to live in a smaller, calmer place. Speaking of calmer...

He closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in. Ah, the sweet silence!

He still couldn’t believe his luck in finding such a good house in such a calm place. He just hoped the job would be as good-

No, he wouldn’t allow himself to think of work at that moment! It was still Saturday, he had just arrived and all he needed right now was to enjoy the rest of the day! So once he put away the last pieces of clothing he’d brought with him, he turned the lights off and went in for a shower. His first shower in his own house.

* * *

Vanitas looked around the place. Three people were staring at him and he greeted them with a nod, a silent ‘hello’ to his new coworkers.

In a team of four people. That’s where he would be working at, in a small company with not too many workers and just enough cash to pay them all. It felt like heaven, after working in a big company full of incompetent people pissing him off the entire day!

Not anymore though! He had moved into town for peace and that’s what he was hoping to get.

“A hundred people, you say?” His manager asked, walking with him to his desk. “That’s impressive.”

“Well, you know what they say: Numbers don’t really equal productivity.” He said, trying to sound as calm as he could while also trying to contain his excitement. 

Vanitas would be working as a programmer in the company. While he did do a very good job wherever he went, he didn’t really enjoy the job. It helped, however, to know as much as he did; it paid the bills and allowed him to… Yeah, it paid the bills.

His first day was as good as he expected it to be; there was a meeting just a few minutes after he arrived where they let him know what they were currently working on. Vanitas listened with all of his attention, ready to deal with as many tasks as they gave him, and he felt even better after being offered a nice cup of black coffee. 

Still, there was nothing better than going home. No matter how great the day had been, going back to his place and getting to read or draw was his favorite part of the day. Well, aside from talking to his siblings, of course.

“So, how were your classes today?” He asked his younger brother hours later, holding the phone against his ear while going to his bedroom upstairs.

“Who cares about my classes? I want to know about you!” Sora exclaimed from the other side of the line. “How was your first day? Did they treat you well? Is work hard?”

“ _I_ care about your classes.” Vanitas chuckled. “But if you want to know about me that much...“

“I have to! Xion wants to know everything so whatever you say I’m telling her.”

“Well, she could’ve just… Sent a message? We have a message group for that.”

“She wanted me to hear your voice to make sure you didn’t sound sad or tired.”

“Geez...” Shaking his head, Vanitas sat on his bed and yawned, staring at the ceiling as he spoke. “Well, let her know then that it was great! Amazing, actually. But it’s just the first day, there isn’t too much to say yet.”

“Looks like you’re off to a good start, then.”

“Thankfully, yeah. Now I’ll just… I don’t know, draw a bit. Then shower and bed.”

“Right.” Sora laughed. “And I’ll… Lay down, probably. I’m tired.”

“Week’s barely started, you tired of what?”

“Of studying, of course! I really need a vacation...”

“ Study hard now and maybe I’ll let you spend a few days here with me.”

“Heh, I’d like that!”

“I bet you would.” Vanitas laughed. “Well, I’ll let you rest then. Tell Xion to call me tomorrow morning, I’ll wake up early.”

“Around…?”

“Around 7.”

“Will do! I’ll take my leave then. Good night big brother, I love you!”

“Love you too, little one. Take care.”

Vanitas waited for Sora to hang up and then left his cell phone behind. It was a personal rule: Whenever he drew, he put everything away and focused solemnly on his work. 

Picking up everything he needed - Which was his sketchbook, pencils, and an eraser - he went down to his office and sat on the chair. He didn’t look to his sketchbook however, not at first. His eyes moved up to stare at the painting of a waterfall on the wall.

That painting wasn’t Xion’s. The person who’d sold him the house didn’t say much about it except that they couldn’t take it off ‘no matter what we do’. Honestly, Vanitas didn’t mind it too much. It was a beautiful painting after all and after trying to take it off with the help of Sora and Xion, he had decided to leave it be for a while.

He couldn’t simply forget it was there, however, not when it was right on his face, but since he couldn’t take it off Vanitas put his desk right in front of it. He hoped that, if it was going to stay there, it could at least give him some inspiration.

Thankfully, it did. He’d made just a few sketches but it’d been a while since he’d drawn so they were enough. As soon as the clock hit 10 PM, he made himself some hot chocolate and went to bed, calling it a day. 

The smile never left his face. He had a hot drink, a cozy house in a nice and small town. The future was looking bright and he couldn’t wait to find out what it had in store for him.

* * *

Vanitas’ excitement about his new life hadn’t died off even after for an entire week of work. The days passed by in the blink of an eye and it felt surreal to realize that, just seven days ago, he had parked on his garage for the first time.

He still couldn’t believe things were working out so well. Sure, it had been just a week and all he had done was to settle in his house and go to work every day. Home, work, home, work. Still, for his own sake, he thought he should celebrate. And so he stopped by the supermarket, got himself a load of candy, soda, and popcorns, and finally drove off after the weekend.

After locking the entrance door and leaving the plastic bags on the sofa, he went upstairs for a shower. Vanitas threw his clothes on the bed nonchalantly, humming to himself as he unbuttoned his pants, and set off to enjoy the warm water.

Back in his former house, before his parents left him to raise his siblings, Vanitas had always taken quick showers not to waste more water than necessary. Right now however he told himself he didn’t care. At least on that day, he would stay there as long as he pleased and he would enjoy his time to the maximum!

… Which only ended up being 10 minutes. Well, still worth it!

Wrapping the towel around his waist, Vanitas stopped by his bed to check for any new messages on his cellphone before throwing it back on the mattress and changing into his yellow pajamas. Making sure all doors and windows were locked again, instead of celebrating with all the junk food he bought Vanitas decided that some tea would be enough for the day and so he made some, finally ready to jump to his bed and relax. 

With his mug in one hand and a book on the other, Vanitas dove in his own, small world, and read for over an hour before exhaustion caught up to him. There was no other sound but that of his own breathing or the occasional wind blowing against the window and, honestly, he couldn't ask for anything better than that.

* * *

He opened his eyes suddenly, a throbbing headache pressing into his skull. There was a sound coming from downstairs.

Footsteps.

He didn’t blink nor breathe for a moment, feeling like his body was stuck to the bed or being pushed against it by some strange, unseen force. As soon as he felt like he could do something, Vanitas struggled to stand up and was finally able to move by himself, turning around and facing the door. Only the door was gone and so was his room.

He found himself in the middle of the street. Blinking in utter confusion, he looked back to try and go back to his bed but there was no bed, no room, only the street and himself. He looked down to his feet, checking his shoes then his clothes. He was dressed for work with his briefcase in hand, even if he didn’t remember picking it up or leaving his bedroom for that matter. He licked his lips for how dry they were, a bitter, metallic taste in his mouth.

Confused and with no destination, Vanitas started to walk and was suddenly surrounded by people, walking among them in the sidewalk, wondering where they had come from. Cars came and went next to him, all of them too fast for him to take notice of their shapes, everything a colorful uncontrollable blur!

He looked back to the people and frowned at them; they too moved too fast for him to take in their features, almost as if they were walking in a different time than he was. He picked up his pace, trying but never going as fast as the many faceless people who turned their backs to him. 

Still, even with no destination, Vanitas felt like there was something he should look for. He scanned as much as he managed to with his eyes, trying to understand what that was, and it didn’t take long for him to find it as his eyes fell on a man in the distance.

Unlike everyone around him who was indiscernible and hard to see, that one person was perfectly... Outlined. Even with his back turned to him, that one man stood out among everyone else. Everything around him was lacking in colors like he, that blond male with an almost ethereal glow around him, had taken them all for himself!

Vanitas felt the urge to call for the man but didn’t know why; maybe because he was the only one who walked on the same speed as him, the only one who seemed to be a person and not a faceless form.

“Hey! Hey, you!”

The man was walking away. Vanitas didn’t know if he hadn’t listened or just straight up ignored him, but he had to reach him! Pushing people out of the way, excusing himself as he moved through, Vanitas ran to the middle of the street.

“Hey!! Can you hear me? Hey-”

He felt his chest tighten and gasped: Everything had stopped. The people stood like statues, frozen in motion around him, the cars now a mess of blurred unmovable colors, and all the lights became strangely dim, lacking even more life than before. But the person he had been running after, that one person wasn’t frozen in time.

Vanitas shivered. It was silent, way too silent, much more than he liked! He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, in his throat, and he forced the air into his lungs for he was slowly suffocating! 

The blond turned his head to look at him, almost in slow motion, and Vanitas took a step forward just to see his features. They were just a few feet apart now but suddenly Vanitas wished he wasn’t this close. But he was close and he was getting closer and closer, he should stop walking to him, he should st- 

There was a gunshot and Vanitas jolted awake, panting and clutching at his chest. 

It was a loud sound, a piercing one. And he could swear it had come right from inside his room! He held his breath, not daring to move. The sound had come from there, from his house, not from the dream and he knew it! It was too loud, too close to be part of his dream!

He waited for long minutes and held on tight to his blanket, expecting to hear something more, maybe for someone to show up from behind his door, but the house was awfully silent now. Shaking, but still confused as to whether he was still dreaming or not, Vanitas pushed the blanket aside and risked a few first steps away from the bed.

He walked towards the door as silently as possible and went down the stairs step by step, his eyes darting to the door to check if it was still locked. It seemed to be, although he didn’t feel so sure anymore, and he looked back to the corridor.

A hair-raising chill took over him as the cold air of the night found its way inside, which wasn’t possible because everything was tightly locked, doors and windows alike. No, it was a different sensation than that of just cold air. It felt like _something_ was in the house!

Vanitas went pale, fear rendering him unable to move. He didn’t know how long he stood like that at the bottom of the stairs, waiting, expecting someone to jump on him. But no one came and he didn’t hear any more sounds.

_“What do I do, what do I do.”_

Should he go back to his room and pretend nothing happened? Should he call the police and tell them he suspected someone had broken into his house? Or should he walk down the corridor again and investigate, under the risk of being murdered for being an idiot?

He could almost hear Sora and Xion screaming ‘Idiot’ at him as he made his way down the corridor. If he were to be were honest with himself, he didn’t know why he hadn’t gone back to bed. His mind told him to, his heart told him to but something had its grip on him and it kept him walking and walking until he finally got to the kitchen and turned the lights on!

There was nothing. The table was just as clean as he had left it (Which meant 'full of the garbage he’d felt too lazy to clean'), the windows were all closed, plates and cups were all in their right place. Everything as normal as it could be.

He ran his hand through his hair, letting out a shaky sigh and laughing at himself. Jesus, he _was_ an idiot. It was obvious the sound had come from his nightmare, where else could it have come from? It had been a confusing dream, sure, but wasn’t that just how dreams were? Just a bunch of nonsense put together like a jumbled mess?

Vanitas wasn’t so sure of that. Still, he told himself to believe he was and made his way back to his bedroom, turning the lights off and shaking his head. Perhaps the experience of living alone after twenty-two years was messing up with his head. Yeah, that must be it.

Completely believing he had just been dreaming then, Vanitas crawled back to bed and hugged his pillow again. With a long and relieved sigh, he closed his eyes and made himself comfortable, hoping he wouldn’t hear any more sounds before sunrise.

* * *

"I just set another ticket for you. Check your email, it should've been sent already."

"On it."

Vanitas swallowed the last drop of coffee and groaned loudly, switching the tabs to look at his email. There was nothing there yet and even though he had other things to do Vanitas decided to wait. He threw the plastic cup on the trash, closed his eyes, and stared to his empty inbox, not really focused on it. 

After that weird dream from four days ago, he couldn’t stop thinking of the blond male. He couldn’t make out his face, but his presence was… Felt? He didn’t know and didn’t really want to. It had just been a dream and dreams were to be forgotten and nothing more! And yet, he couldn’t help the shiver that ran down his spine whenever he walked in front of a mirror.

“Did you get it?”

“Hm? Oh! Yes!” Vanitas shook his head, clicking on the email to read it. “I’ll work on it.”

“Call me if you need anything!”

“Alright!”

He didn’t really need anything. Not for his task, at least. He was already making plans for when he left; there were some things he needed to buy for the house, a few groceries and cleaning products. He also needed to buy more vegetables to maybe make soup for dinner. Without paying too much attention to his work at hand, Vanitas spent the rest of the day reading and studying before he finally got his hands dirty until it was time to leave.

It was Xion who called him first that day. He was on the market when she did, and promptly answered the phone.

“Hey, princess.”

“Hi, bro! How is it going?”

“I’m fine. Just… Tired.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” She laughed and he smiled. “It’s about time you stopped pushing yourself so much.”

“Oh no, I’m taking it easy with work. I mean it! I just didn’t sleep that well last night. Or the other.”

“Insomnia?”

“Nah, a nightmare. It threw me off and now I keep waking up during the night.”

“Must’ve been something really bad to wake you up like that. You sleep like a log!”

“Huh… Thanks.” He couldn’t really deny it. “Well, what about you? You two keep asking about me, but you’re the priority here, you know.”

“Hell, no, you’re the one who’s living alone now! Now it’s our turn to take care of you.”

He smiled, shaking his head. “Nah, you can take care of Sora. Won’t be long until he’s an adult now.”

“I take care of Sora and we take care of you.” He could tell she was smiling as she said that. He was smiling too.

“Right… Just don’t overwork yourself!”

“Do as I say not as I do, big brother?”

“Heh… Love you!.”

Vanitas always thought, and his opinion wouldn’t change any time soon, that Xion had the best laughter in the world! It was contagious and full of life, reason why he’d use every opportunity he had to make her laugh until she was crying and rolling on the floor.

It was almost 8 PM when he finally got home. He felt that unusual chill going inside but ignored it - As he had done the last few days - and went to the kitchen, putting everything he had bought in place. After he did the dishes and took a good look around to make sure there was nothing else to clean, he went upstairs and into the shower.

He couldn’t and wouldn’t deny however that, ever since he had had that dream, coming back home made him feel uneasy. Something had changed, but he couldn’t tell what exactly that was, which only made him feel tense and worried.

Vanitas spent a few more minutes under the water before leaving, changing and throwing himself on the bed without a second thought. There was no use in dwelling on these thoughts. Right now, he just wanted to stay still and relax and so he pulled the blankets to him, taking a deep breath and forgetting all about his responsibilities for the day.

* * *

He opened his eyes suddenly, a throbbing headache pressing into his skull. Vanitas didn’t blink nor breathe for a moment, feeling like his body was stuck to the bed or being pushed against it by some strange, unseen force. As soon as he felt like he could do something, Vanitas struggled to stand up and was finally able to move by himself, turning around and facing the door. 

_Oh God, no, not again_

He found himself in the middle of the street. Blinking, he looked back and sure enough, there was no bed, no room, only the street and himself. He looked down to his feet, checking his shoes then his clothes. Dressed for work, his briefcase in his hand. He licked his lips, the taste never leaving his mouth.

Vanitas started to walk, suddenly surrounded by people, walking among them in the sidewalk. Cars came and went next to him, but he didn’t stare too long at their colorful uncontrollable blur. Instead, he immediately started to look around, looking for that one perfectly outlined person. For the one that stood out among everyone else and took all light to himself.

It didn’t take long to find him. This time, however, Vanitas noticed he had a green backpack with him. His fingers were holding on tight to it but other than that his composure hadn’t changed. Vanitas still didn’t know where the initial urge to call him was coming from but he didn’t need to know.

“Hey! Hey, you!”

The man was walking away. Vanitas didn’t know if he hadn’t listened or just straight up ignored him, but he had to reach him now because, if the dream was to be the same, soon enough everything would stop moving, himself included! Vanitas ran after the blond, pushing people out of the way, going straight to the middle of the street!

“Hey!! Can you hear me? Hey-”

Everything stopped again. Vanitas groaned with irritation, a feeling soon to be replaced by the same fear he felt the first time. He stood in place, staring at the man in the distance as the lights went out and the streets were once again covered in shadows. But the male a few meters away from him, the light that surrounded him now wasn’t warm, it wasn’t comforting but cold and threatening!

Vanitas cleared his throat. “C… Can you hear me…?”

The blond male took a step back. It was silent but Vanitas could hear something coming closer, a sound like static on a television. The blond male took yet another step backward and Vanitas hear a sad, lamenting laughter coming from him. The static noise grew louder and louder, to the point he begged for it to stop, but then the man finally turned around to face him and Vanitas screamed.

His face was covered in shadows and his eyes shone in a bright green that stared deep into his soul. There was a psychotic smile on his lips and blood was running down his face, but Vanitas still couldn’t make out what exactly he looked like! He heard the same laughter again and stood in place while the man stared at him, smiled at him, and waited. Vanitas felt his body go cold, he tried to run away but couldn’t and just before the thing that stared at him came closer he woke up again.

There were bangs coming from downstairs.

Vanitas’ first reaction was to pull the blanket over his head, scared. That face from his dream, it felt too eery, too unnatural and yet too real. As if it knew he was dreaming and had gotten inside his dream to play with him! It was an absurd idea but the feeling was too palpable for him to ignore it. He tried to steady his breathing, telling himself that the sound would stop soon just like the gunshot he’d heard the first time!

But it didn’t. Seconds turned into minutes and he could still hear banging like something was hitting the wall over and over again. He really didn’t want to leave the bed but that sound wouldn’t let him sleep even if he tried!

_Idiot!_

As silent as he was the other night, Vanitas pushed his blanket aside and walked to the door, holding the doorknob and hesitating. The sound was still there. The sound was-

He opened the door. The sound was gone.

Vanitas could feel the sweat on his neck and the known cold from the other night came upstairs, making the hair on his neck stand on end. He should go to bed since the sound stopped but he knew that it would start all over again if he did so he continued. His eyes once again checked the door before he got to the end of the stairs, making sure it was locked, but just as he reached the last step the banging restarted. And it came from just a few steps away.

Moving his body forward to look, at first, he didn’t see anything. But then he looked further and stopped.

A blond-haired male was standing up in the corridor, his back turned to him, mumbling something to himself and hitting his head against the wall, over and over again. Blood tainted its color and a few drops had fallen on the floor. And there was... A hole on the man’s head!

Vanitas froze in place, watching the scene not really making sense of it, too shaken with fear to think straight. That man, where had he come from, why was he in his house, how had he come in and how was he even standing with such a big bullet wound-

The blond stopped moving and Vanitas took a step back, his eyes wide.

“Hey… Hey, you...”

The man was talking to him. Oh God, the man was talking to h-

“Can you hear me?”

Vanitas felt the ground spin under him but he was still standing, listening, terrified. Should he answer? Why was he even considering that? There was an intruder in his house, an intruder who looked a lot like the man from his nightmare, an intruder who’d just talked to him-

He felt the cold wind pass by him again. Something was broken in the kitchen. 

_I must call the cops. Leave the house and call the cops. Leave the house and…_

He walked down the last few steps of the stairs and looked at the corridor again. To the wall stained with blood.

“Hey…!”

It was the man again, talking to him from the kitchen. Vanitas told himself not to go after him, do not go after him, but something urged him to!

“Can... You hear me…?”

The man’s voice broke in mid-sentence and Vanitas heard him start crying. The sad laughter from his dream came back into mind and he felt his heart clench unsure of why, wondering if he was hearing and seeing things as he listened to those desperate sobs.

He took a few more steps and stopped by the door, trying to look without being seen. He found the man sitting on the floor at the corner of the kitchen, hiding his face in his hands, weeping.

“I tried… I swear, I tried to be better but it wasn’t enough, she didn’t listen… Why didn’t she listen...” He mumbled to himself through hiccups. Vanitas wasn’t sure of what was happening and who that man was but something about him called his attention, something…

The man started to laugh. Vanitas widened his eyes.

“…. You….” He looked up. His green eyes shined and that smile, the psychotic smile greeted him again. “You _can_ hear me.”

Vanitas swallowed dry, taking a step back. The blood was still running down his face but now it was also coming out of his mouth, out of his nose, he was bleeding and shaking and walking toward him...! 

“You... Are not welcome here!”

The raven stumbled backward, hitting his back on the wall as he tried to get away, as the man took unsteady steps, the kitchen suddenly too dark, too suffocating. He could swear time was slowing down again and he was stuck in it while the thing moved faster-! 

“You are not welcome here-!”

Vanitas ran to the entrance door, his heart about to come out of his chest, a loud, desperate scream stuck in his dry throat. He yanked the door open, threw himself outside and rushed to his car only to remember he didn’t have the keys with him! Without thinking, without looking back, he crossed the street and continued to run as fast as his legs allowed him to. 

As fast as he could, with no destination in mind. Just as away as possible from the house and from that green-eyed man.

* * *

“So… Seen him already, have you?”

Vanitas jumped on the chair, almost dropping his cup when he turned around to see who was talking to him.

He had walked around town for the last hour, trying to push away the feeling of dread he’d brought with him from the house, wondering if he was going mad with lack of sleep. It was 4:30 in the morning when he stopped running like a madman, but he was feeling like the thing that smiled at him had latched on to his skin with no pretensions of ever letting go. 

Once the sensation finally subsided, although not entirely, he started to walk back to the house but stopped on his way, deciding to get himself a coffee first. He’d entered the first bakery he found and asked for a cup of it, sitting by the window to try and relax. It was when a bald old man, coincidentally the owner of the bakery, came from behind him and almost gave him a heart attack.

“Hey.” The man gave him a light tap on his back. “It’s alright. You are safe here, he can’t follow you out of the house.”

Vanitas frowned and stared at him like he was from another world. Trying not to think much about it, he pulled his cup to himself and took a few sips from it, the bitter taste of coffee burning his throat, keeping him stuck to reality.

“It happens every year. Sometimes, more than once. Everyone around here knows better than to go near the house but, of course, they never sell it to folks from here. No, only people from another place would be crazy enough to get in there.”

“I beg your pardon?” Vanitas sneered, staring up at the man who had just taken a place in front of him without being invited.

“I don’t suppose you’re from around these parts, are you? So my point stands.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Vanitas said through his teeth, drinking what was left of his drink and looking out of the window. Staring intently to the empty streets, hoping the old man would notice and leave him alone.

“The spirit that inhabits the house…” Vanitas felt his body go cold again and the dread return but he refused to look at the man and pretended not to acknowledge him. That didn’t stop him from speaking. “Ventus Colfer.”

There were just a few more people besides the two of them there but at that moment it felt as if everyone and everything else had vanished. Vanitas couldn’t shake off the feeling that they were talking of something that shouldn’t be expanded upon. Like they were invading someone else’s privacy.

“A brilliant young man. Came from another town to study at our local University that… Doesn’t exist anymore.” The man shrugged. “And yet, too centered sometimes. Too quiet. Some say he was depressed.”

“Well, aren’t we all.” Vanitas said, hoping that would make him stop talking. The man ignored his comment.

“The thing… It gets to you. Those who have lived there before told us all about it before they left. Seems he likes to play tricks, messes with your mind, enters your dreams. Some believe it’s a vengeful spirit but no one knows what exactly it wants to avenge.”

Vanitas wanted to tell him to fuck off and leave him be. Instead, he decided to wait for a bit longer and looked at him, taking a good look at his features. The man was probably in his 60s; his hair was completely gone and his eyes reflected the tiredness of a long life. There was a tangible shake in his voice, out of old age, but no trace of a lie in his eyes.

“Look… I’m really not interested in whatever it is you’re talking about. Vengeful spirits? What the hell...”

“You don’t have to pretend you don’t know. Your panicked face says it all.”

“Well, I’m not panicked!” Vanitas growled, glaring at him. “And I don’t know you either. So if you could, please, leave me alone… That would be very much appreciated.”

The man laughed. “Right. Sure, no problem. Name’s Xehanort by the way. Xehanort Moore. It was a pleasure to meet you, sir...”

Vanitas didn’t tell him his name. He didn’t want to and didn’t have to either. Xehanort laughed again.

“Right. See you again, Mr.”

Vanitas asked for another cup of coffee before heading back around 6:30. He felt like he had been hit by a truck, his legs wobbly as he walked. Maybe it was the amount of caffeine he had drank to stay awake or just how much he dreaded going back inside the house. Maybe both.

The door opened with a _click_ when he turned the key and pushed it open, looking inside just like he did on his first day there. It didn’t feel as flashy or even welcoming like before and he could swear it felt even colder, but he shook that off as his mind playing tricks on him and went inside.

_Idiot!_

It took everything in him not to dwell too much in thoughts of the unknown, but exhaustion finally caught up to him. Spirits? What was he even thinking? Surely, he was just tired and too overwhelmed with the changes in his life in so little time. 

That was it. Just tiredness and the thrill of living alone. Nothing to do with ghosts nor things from the other side. Just a logical explanation. 

Nothing more. 


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey, man, are you okay?” 

He could barely hold himself up! It was the third cup of coffee he had (Fifth, if he counted the ones he drank on the bakery) and he felt anything but awake. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so tired or exhausted and it was really pissing him off!

Vanitas sent Sora and Xion a message as soon as he woke up, suddenly missing them as if they had been away for years. The relief he felt when both of them replied was insane and a bit unfounded since both had been alright the last time they talked, but he was just glad they were alright.

Still, he couldn’t help it. Vanitas was feeling uneasy and how wouldn’t he after seeing… That? He still wasn’t entirely sure he had actually seen said ‘vengeful spirit’ or not but he definitely wasn’t excited to go back home any time soon. 

“Vanitas!”

“Oh? Oh, I’m sorry.” He took another sip of his cup. “Can you say that again?” 

His coworker looked at him with compassion. “This is the third time I’m repeating myself.”

“... Oh... I’m truly sorry. I’ll try to...”

“Maybe wash your face?”

“Yeah, yeah! I’ll… Do that!”

He also couldn’t remember the last time one day had taken so long to end. He was constantly losing track of what he was doing, kept writing the codes wrong, and thought about everything except work. He wanted to go home but, at the same time, he didn’t want to. He also wanted more coffee but his head would burst if he had more. What he really wanted, however, was to forget that awful bloody grin.

When the clock finally hit 5 PM he almost jumped to his feet in celebration, simply not doing it because he was too tired to do so. Vanitas just waved to his coworkers before leaving, not taking into consideration what any of them said, and left.

It was with a tired, stressed groan, that he looked up the stairs and to the entrance. He was afraid to go inside even if he truly believed (Not truly) that what happened was just something from his head. 

Sighing, he went inside and, avoiding the kitchen as he was doing every day since then, went to his room to sleep. Maybe today the ghost or whatever it was that decided to fool around him would be merciful and leave him alone. 

Vanitas fell asleep just a few minutes later. And sure enough, he found himself in the middle of the street again. 

_Why_. 

The same place, the same people, the same cars coming and going. Vanitas was tired of seeing that over and over and he wanted to scream in irritation. Just as he was going to however it occurred to him. 

He knew he was dreaming this time. He was in control.

Turning around, Vanitas immediately started to look for the blond. It didn’t take long to find him, the blond was in the same place across the street, his green backpack on his back. Vanitas squinted his eyes, trying to see if there was any trace of blood in him, and started to run in his direction. He needed to get to him before time stopped, before whatever that thing was could wake him up again!

People started to gather around him. Keeping him from getting closer, making it harder for him to reach the blond, but he pushed them away, forcing his way through, running faster and faster but the traffic light turned red!

_No, no, no, I can’t let time stop again, I don’t want to wake up, I can’t wake up, not just yet--!!_

“Hey!!” He called, seeing all the cars rushing past him, his crossing impossible. “Hey, wait!!”

The blond didn’t stop. He was going to stop though because he was almost reaching the spot where time started to slow down and once he reached it he would turn around and-

Vanitas ran to the street. He didn’t look at the cars, he didn’t look at anything or anywhere else and ran! Vanitas literally jumped after the man and on the exact moment that the blond stepped on the spot Vanitas grabbed him by his arm.

“I can hear you!”

Time stopped. Vanitas was sweating and he knew it was doing so in reality, he could actually feel it running down his neck and his back while laying on the bed. It was cold again and the people and the cars had stopped but this time the lights didn’t go out.

Slowly, the man turned to face him and Vanitas was finally able to take in his features, his breathing coming out shaky and harsh, but he refused to look away. There was no blood pouring out of the blond’s face or mouth now. His eyes didn’t have that terrifying glow in them; they were just green, a beautiful shade of green. And his expression was different. He didn’t look scary, but rather worried and sad and his voice was low when he spoke.

“... Why?”

Vanitas shot his eyes open, staring at the ceiling of his room. He shifted to a sitting position, his heart racing in his chest and he waited for the banging or the mumbling but there was no noise, nor sound. Sighing, shaking, he rubbed at his face with both hands and took deep, long breaths to calm himself down. 

The voice of the blond was gentle, nothing like the one he’d heard down the corridor or even in the kitchen. Just like the gunshot sound however his voice too had sounded too loud as if it didn’t come from his dream but either right from his si-

Vanitas held his breath. No, it hadn’t come from his side. It couldn’t have, he was dreaming, it had all just been a-

“Hey.”

He looked up and tensed up, all color draining from his face as he stared at the blond male standing next to his bed.

“It is okay. You’re awake now.”

The green-eyed blond smiled at him. Vanitas widened his eyes, looked at that soft smile for a moment…

And then fainted.

* * *

Vanitas woke up again minutes later, although they did feel like long hours to him. He felt confused and squeezed his eyes shut before trying to open them up again. For a moment he didn’t remember what happened and stood still, trying to completely regain his senses until he remembered and opened his eyes, startled.

There was no one there. No intruder, no ghost. No blond male to be found.

He slowly got up, upholding himself on the wall as he made his way down the stairs and finally got to the corridor, looking to the kitchen.

_My mind is playing tricks on me._

It didn’t feel like it though but Vanitas accepted the thought and moved forward; he felt extremely thirsty and needed to get himself some water but didn’t look to the side as he made his way to the place he’d tried so hard to avoid. Grumbling, Vanitas took a deep breath and had just picked the cup on the sink when he heard the chair behind him move.

“Do you feel any better?”

_Oh God, no._

He turned around. Met again by that soft smile and those worried green eyes. Vanitas didn’t move, he stood still like a statue, staring at the semi-transparent man who was standing next to the chair, pointing at it. 

“You, uh, look kind of pale.” The blond said, smiling shyly. “Maybe you should sit down a little bit? Here.”

Vanitas blinked, unable to utter any sound. The blond tried again.

“Look, I, uh, I’m sorry I scared you back then. I should’ve waited until you were properly awake, shouldn’t I? I always do this, everyone who comes in here gets scared shitless, but I swear I don’t mean harm!” 

“W…. Who-”

The blond gasped and Vanitas felt about to faint again.

“You’re… Looking at my face. So you can really see me! You… You can actually see me!! Oh my God, that’s… That’s… Weird actually.” The blond scratched his head and laughed, disbelief all over his face, failing to contain his excitement while the black-haired man tried not to fall to the floor. “No one’s ever been able to see me before but, of course, no one ever tried to reach me before, they just screamed and ran and-”

“Stop!” Vanitas asked, his voice much smaller than he expected it to be. “Just… Please, stop talking.”

“O… Okay.” The other looked away for a moment then stepped away from the chair. “But… Please, sit down. You’re white as a paper sheet.”

Vanitas could deny it if he wanted to. Obviously, he didn’t want to take orders from a… From a ghost!

_Did I say the word? Oh my God, I said the word._

“I’ll… Stay over here.” 

The spirit said and walked to the other side of the kitchen, looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to sit down. Vanitas didn’t move right away, he kept staring at him, waiting for that scary grin and for the blood to start running down his face, but nothing happened. Well, aside from having a semi-transparent man looking at him, that is.

“That’s better.” The thing said, nodding when Vanitas finally made his way to the chair. He rubbed his face with both hands again, but as much as he’d like to believe he knew this wasn’t part of his nightmare. It was real, there was no denying it. Or maybe he was just going insane. Now that would’ve been acceptable!

Long minutes passed, Vanitas sitting on the chair and the other man standing up on the other side of the room, waiting. His last hope was that, as soon as he looked up, the thing would’ve gone away. It hadn’t. It was still looking at him.

“... C… Can I speak now?”

“Oh, my fucking Jesus...” Vanitas whispered without moving.

“So, like I said, sorry for scaring you earlier! My name is Ventus! Ventus Colfer, you can call me Ven, though. It’s a pleasure to meet you!” 

_Well, it certainly isn’t a pleasure to meet you._ “I know who you are.”

“You do?” Ventus looked genuinely surprised. “Cool! Erm, I mean… How?”

“How?? You-... Fuck my life, am I really talking to a… Spirit...?”

“I thought that was kind of clear since the beginning... ” Ventus shrugged. “But don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you. What’s your name?” 

“Uh…” Vanitas smiled awkwardly. “Shouldn’t you... Know already?”

“... I… Wouldn’t be asking if I knew?”

“But-!!” Vanitas exclaimed, finally moving, exasperated. “You can… Go through walls and move stuff and make all that fucking noise, shouldn’t you know who I am right now??”

“But you never told me who you are! How could I know?”

“I don’t know?!”

“I don’t know either!” Ventus exclaimed, smiling. “Look, I’ve been in this place for the past 40 years! If I could read minds or simply know stuff like this I would know by now. Well, maybe not, I mean… People always said I was kind of slow, so…”

“Can you leave now?”

“Ah…" Ventus’ smile dropped and he frowned. "Sure… If that’s what you want.” 

Vanitas nodded. “Yeah. That’s what I want.“

“Oh… Alright then. Sorry for anything!” 

And just like that, he disappeared.

It took Vanitas other long minutes to leave the kitchen. He went back to his room, changed his clothes, picked up his cellphone and left the house. Hallucinations. Just… Hallucinations.

_Ventus Colfer._

He needed some fresh air.

* * *

“It’s good to see you again!” 

Xehanort greeted him with a nod from behind the counter and Vanitas did the same before going to sit at the same table he had sat on days ago. 

Just a few seconds later he was brought coffee and Xehanort gave him a presumptuous smile. Vanitas stared at him for a while before giving in.

“I have some questions.”

“Oh, I know you do.“ He looked around, gesturing to the other man behind the counter. “Braig, you take over from here.”

“Aye!”

Xehanort sat in front of Vanitas again, the former tapping on his coffee mug and staring at its content, watching the steam that came out of it. He waited for a while, thinking and rethink about it before he dared to say something.

“You said someone died at the house where I live.” He pressed his lips together. “Ventus Colfer.”

“Yes.”

“... What happened to him?”

Xehanort smiled triumphantly. He cleared his throat and looked out of the window.

“Ventus, yes. I’m one of the few people who saw him when he was still alive.” Vanitas listened attentively. “My husband and I had just opened up this place when he arrived.”

Xehanort smiled. ”He actually came here a few times. Loved the hot chocolate, said it was his favorite drink. Always got one before leaving for college.”

“How old was he?”

“When he arrived? I think he’d just turned 18. A young lad, full of life too. Just two years after he came, though, and his mother fell ill. I heard he dropped college to take care of her and then never went back.“

Vanitas looked down, drinking from his cup. He remembered how the blond had mumbled about a ‘she’ and wondered if he meant his mother. Xehanort waved at Braig, asking for a cup of coffee himself.

“She lived for only a year after that. Had dementia, apparently, and died still in the house. That destroyed young Ventus, who seemed to love her above everything.” He stopped talking to thank Braig for his drink, took a sip, and sighed. “A few months later and he just stopped coming around. People wondered where he was and after three days we called the police to check.” 

“... Where did they find him?”

“At home. Laying on his bed, with a hole on his head and a gun next to his hand. Shot himself in the brains.” 

“Jesus Christ...” Vanitas held his head with both hands. Thinking of the gunshot and the hole on the blond’s head, the blood coming out of his mouth…

“Some say he couldn’t take it. The loss of his mother, I mean. However, his former classmates said there had always been something wrong with the guy. He was already depressed when he first came to town, losing his mother was just what he needed to end it all.” 

“And… What did they do? Did they call his family to-”

“He had no one.” Xehanort pressed his lips together. “His father was already dead and... No one ever came looking for him. So they buried him here. It was sad, you know, to realize he had been dead for three days and… No one took notice. Guess he really didn’t have any friends around.”

Vanitas nodded, looking out of the window. He felt kind of bad now for telling him to go away like that, considering how excited he had looked. But he was a spirit, one that had scared him terribly days ago. How could he not tell him to leave?

“That’s awful.”

“It is.” Xehanort chuckled, shaking his head affectionately. “It was always nice to see him go around. He was shy but was always trying to be nice to everyone. Never let go of that green backpack of his, even after he left college.”

Vanitas swallowed dry, pressing his fingers on the mug. He wasn’t sure of what to make out of it, of all that information. He could still hear Ventus’ laughter and he could still see his frightening grin, but now he could also hear a softer voice and see the face of a young man like himself.

“Thank you.” He stood up. “For telling me.”

Xehanort nodded. “No worries. Glad I could help. Just… Stay aware, boy. No one that’s moved to that house has left untainted. You seem like a nice guy; wouldn’t want the same fate to fall over you.”

“Don’t worry.” Vanitas smiled at him. “If it gets out of control, I’ll leave.”

“You better. We don’t need anyone else killing themselves in that place.”

Vanitas’ smile disappeared and he felt his insides twist. A second ago he actually wondered what had happened to the other people who lived in the house but, with these final words, he knew better than to ask.

* * *

A few days passed with no more signs of Ventus nor nightmares. Vanitas certainly didn’t miss that, neither the weird sounds he’d heard during the night, but he did wonder if the spirit was watching him. It was an unnerving though, worse than simply seeing him. 

On the bright side, Vanitas had finally got the hang of things at work and had actually made friends with his coworkers, which was a nice change of pace considering he hated everyone from his last job. At the end of a particularly successful day, he had just got himself a soda from the fridge when he got a call from Xion.

“Vanitas?”

“Hello there!”

“Bro!!” She exclaimed from the other side of the line and Vanitas smiled to himself. He could hear people chatting around her. “How are you? Everything alright?”

“Yeah, never better. How are things there? You going home now?”

“Yeah, I’m on the bus. Namine won’t stop bugging me and Lea won’t stop pissing Isa off.” She laughed and, sure enough, he heard Isa screaming at his friend in the background. “We miss you so much, Van. Everyone’s asking when you’re coming to visit!”

“Oh, I’d go right now if I could, really. And... Probably stay a few days too.” He laughed again, awkwardly this time. “But I can’t right now. Busy.”

“You sound kinda desperate saying it like that.” Xion chuckled. “Feels weird to live in a small town all of a sudden, doesn’t it?”

“You could say that. What about Sora? How is he?”

“Oh, he’s fine. We had an argument yesterday though so he isn’t talking to me.”

“Again? What did he do this time?”

“Nothing. Just wouldn’t do his chores, so I scolded him and he got angry.”

“Tch… Stubborn as usual, I see.”

“Oh, you don’t know half of it.” He heard Namine say something. “Bro, I gotta hang up right now, I’m almost home.”

“Sure. I’ll call you later then.” 

“And I’ll be waiting! Love you!”

“I love you too, little one. Take care!”

“You too!”

Vanitas stared at the phone screen for a moment after she hung up, smiling at it before putting it back in his pocket. He checked the time on the wall clock; it was still early. Maybe he could draw for a while before going to bed tonight.

Putting on his yellow pajamas again, Vanitas went to his office downstairs and opened his sketchbook. There were many sketches he hadn’t finished yet but, of course, he started another one anyway.

His hand moved swiftly over the paper, the pencil carefully making out traces and shapes. He didn’t know where he was going with it, but it helped him relax and forget about the many numbers and codes he had to see every day. It was silent, not too much, but just enough for him to remember he was free from all the noise he was forced to deal with back then.

Vanitas looked down at the tiger he had just drawn and smiled bigger; animals had always been his specialty. He’d always draw puppies for Sora and kittens for Xion. As for himself, he loved bunnies, hence why they were his favorite thing to draw whenever he had time.

Not today, though. That one tiger looked ferocious and he was proud of it. It could get more work, sure, but for a quick sketch, it looked perfect. Vanitas crossed his arms, wondering if he should give it a background when he looked up and stared once again at the painting of the waterfall.

Something about it threw him off, but he hadn’t had the time before to think about what exactly that was. He knew that pulling it was useless, the last owner of the house said it was impossible to get rid of it and swore everyone else before him had also tried... 

He already knew it would be futile but he felt tempted to, tempted to see what was behind it, to see the state of the wall after being protected for so long or the secrets hidden behind that old frame! So he tried again, groaning, cursing, pulling it and observing just how intact it was. After trying a few more times he sighed, running his fingers on it. 

It was so old but so well preserved! He looked deeper into the art; it was really detailed, so much that it almost looked like a photo! Staring deeper into it however he saw something in the water, right at the bottom, written in blue and therefore hard to see but not impossible if one paid enough attention. It was a signature. 

_‘Ventus Colfer’._

A shiver ran down his spine and Vanitas looked around, expecting him to show up at any moment. Tense and realizing he was in a very small room, with not enough space to run, he gulped and spoke out loud.

“... Are you here?”

No response. He breathed out relieved and scratched his head, leaving the room and walking down the corridor when Ventus popped up in front of him!

“Did you call?”

Shit.

“Fuck-!” He stumbled back, his hands on his chest. “Damnit, don’t just… Show up like that!”

“Sorry! But… You did talk to me, didn’t you? I heard your voice and there doesn’t seem to be anyone else with you, so I figured...”

Vanitas sighed and rubbed at his right temple, forcing himself to acknowledge that, yes, he was seeing Ventus again and, yes, he was talking to him again. As if it was normal to even have him around!

“You...” Vanitas cleared his throat. What a nice day to have a chat with someone from the other side, huh? “You're the one who painted that waterfall.”

“Yeah. Do you like it?”

“I… Do.” Vanitas rubbed at his neck. “But-”

“I was going to add more detail to it. Actually, I always added more to it every day so it isn’t really finished yet.”

“Why didn’t you finish?”

“Because I died.”

“Oh.” Great job, Vanitas. “Right...”

“Eh, it’s okay.” Ventus shrugged and leaned on the wall with his hands behind him. “I keep forgetting too. Besides, it’s not like I can get any more references for it either so there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Uh-huh...”

Vanitas looked at the blond, paying more attention to him. There was this weird aura around him, which wasn’t exactly seen but felt. It felt warm but dangerous at the same time. He looked away.

“So, uh… The thing is, I… Want to move it.” Vanitas started, carefully choosing his words. “It’s right above my desk, I’d like to put something else in there and… Maybe put yours here.” He tapped the corridor wall. Ventus tilted his head.

“And…?”

“And… I can’t take it out!” He exclaimed, expecting it to be obvious. “I’ve tried pulling it but I can’t, are you the one responsible for that?”

“Not that I remember. I don’t go inside that room since I found myself here.”

“You… What?” Vanitas frowned and Ventus looked behind him, to the opened door that led to his office. “Why not?”

“I just can’t. I… I can’t even get too close, it makes me nervous so I avoid it.” 

That was interesting. If Ventus couldn’t even get near the place that meant Vanitas would be safe from him if he was inside! Thinking of how sad that was from the blond’s point of view, Vanitas crossed his arms. 

“Right… How long have you been here again?”

“Forty years. It’ll turn to forty-one this year.”

“But why? Why are you still here?”

“I don’t know either.” Ventus laughed awkwardly. “I’m as confused as you are, really. When I came to, I was already here. I couldn’t remember much and still can’t.”

“I see.” So not only was Ventus dead, but he was also amnesic. What had he gotten himself into? “Right, so...”

“Do you paint too? I saw you moving some stuff to that room when you came in! And all these paintings on the walls...”

“Well, I… Actually, my sister made these. I only draw on paper.” Vanitas said, walking by the ghost with his head down, afraid he would attack or scare him. Ventus stared at him with an amused expression but said nothing on the matter.

“Cool. It was how I started too.” 

“Nice.”

Vanitas got himself a cup of water and leaned on the sink, breathing in and out as slowly as he could, feeling the spirit behind him. He drank all of it before opening the door to the yard, breathing in the fresh air and going outside. He looked up at the clear sky, staring at the clouds for a while, and then looked back to see Ventus by the door, looking at him.

“... What are you-?” Vanitas asked out loud but stopped mid-sentence, looking around and going back in a hurry. If a neighbor saw him talking to himself they’d call him crazy!

“Nothing, I just like the yard.” Ventus moved out of the way for Vanitas to pass. “You seem to like it as well.”

“So why don’t you, uh… Go there? Mm? Enjoy the view.”

“I can’t leave the house.” Ventus frowned sadly. “I’m stuck here, inside here. Don’t you think I would’ve already left if I could?"

“Well, maybe you like the place and decided to stay?” Vanitas raised a brow at him, checking the furniture to see if they were clean as an excuse not to look at the blond. Remembering what Xehanort told him about him being safe outside of the house because ‘he can’t follow you here’. “Who knows.” 

“You look… Kind of bothered. Am I bothering you? I can leave if you want. I mean, I can… Not appear to you if you want.”

“You know what, that would be...” 

Great. It’d be amazing, in fact. As long as he knew the ghost meant no harm (Even though his first encounters with him said the contrary), he could go on with his life no problem. However, looking at the blond now, something inside him ached, especially after what Xehanort told him. 

“That would be… You know, weird. Now that I know you’re… Actually here.”

Ventus’ eyes shone and he beamed, smiling again. “So, like… Are you okay? With me being here?”

No. “Yeah.”

“Cool! What’s your name?”

“... Vanitas.”

“I’m-”

“Ventus, yes, I know."

“Right! You can tell me if I become a nuisance, okay? I know I talk a lot and I remember how people would tell me to shut up all the time, so you can too.”

“Okay...” Vanitas scratched his head. “Just… Don’t play any tricks on me, alright? And... Let me sleep when I’m trying to?”

“Sure. Well… About the tricks anyway. I can’t control your dreams.”

Vanitas frowned again. If he couldn’t, then why the repeated dream with him in it? Vanitas wasn’t sure he could trust the guy, he wasn’t even sure he was actually awake talking to him, but he had grown tired of speaking so he just nodded, accepting the blond’s words as truth.

“Fine. No tricks then.”

“No tricks!” Ventus smiled. “Nice to meet you, Vanitas.”

He cleared his throat. “... Nice to meet you too.”

* * *

Having Ventus around was the weirdest thing he had experienced in all his life. 

Vanitas would wake up every day at 7 AM to take a shower and go to work before hearing a sound and then a voice. A ‘Good morning’, sometimes from his very room, sometimes from outside, even from downstairs. That voice, it was cheerful and… So out of place. He didn’t belong there and it wasn’t just because of his transparent body either.

Ventus _felt_ wrong. Walking around the house instead of floating as any ghost would, leaning on walls when he should just go through them. Trying to start a conversation by asking about the furniture he had or the clothes he was wearing. Vanitas felt like he was going mad at first, dealing with something that was neither real, neither fake, it just… Was. Somehow.

He was just thankful that the nightmares had stopped. He could do without them.

“Nice jacket!” Ventus said one day after Vanitas got home and took it off, throwing it on the couch before getting himself something to eat. “I like the color!”

Vanitas turned to him then looked down at his jacket. It was black. Ventus had said the same thing about his yellow pajamas. And his green shirt. And pretty much about anything he had worn until now.

“Thank you.”

“I used to wear black clothes too!” Ventus said. “It was one of my favorite colors actually. Also green!”

“Nice.”

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Uh… I don’t know.” Vanitas shrugged. The last person who had made that question to him had been Sora back when he was 5! “Blue, maybe. Yellow? I like all of them.”

“Sweet.”

It all felt awkward. It felt weird, wrong! But even then, Ventus kept on trying. And while Vanitas didn’t understand exactly why, he went with it. Let go of his initial fear or whatever it was that kept him from talking too much with the other. 

On a specific day when said ghost had been quiet, Vanitas decided to work a bit more on the tiger he had drawn. With a cup of tea in hand, he went down to his office, opened up his sketchbook and looked at the beautiful tiger in front of him before picking up the pencil.

It was raining and Vanitas rejoiced; he loved to hear the raindrops against the windows and roof. There was no need for music when he already had that! With gentle and yet precise strokes, he went on to add details on the tiger's fur when something fell on the kitchen.

"Whoops-"

He turned around and heard Ventus clear his throat from outside.

"Sorry! I-I didn't mean to, uh-"

"Did it break?"

"... No!"

"It's alright then."

He shook his head and continued to draw, happy at how beautiful it was turning out to be. Looking up to the painting above his head for a moment and back to his own again. He held the pencil against the paper but didn’t move it, listening. It was silent and the silence bothered him now that he knew Ventus was around.

“You okay there?” Vanitas asked, pulling himself away from the desk to check on him, and found Ventus leaning against the wall of the corridor, staring down at his feet.

“Oh, hi!”

“What’s wrong?” Vanitas looked behind him, to the kitchen, but Ventus didn’t seem scared of anything. Could he even _feel_ scared? “You alright?”

“I’m… Yeah! I, uh, I just… I saw you getting there and I was wondering if you were drawing.”

“… Yeah, I’m drawing. Why?”

Ventus looked away for a moment then back at him again, his eyes filled with the curious and ever-loving curiosity of a child. “Can I see it? You… Drawing, I mean”

Vanitas blinked a few times, noticing a light blush on Ventus’ cheek, then rubbed at his neck. Why did he look so uneasy? Maybe he was just shy… 

“Well, sure, I don’t see why not.” He shrugged and turned around, only to look back when Ventus called for him.

“But-... Can you draw somewhere else? I… Don’t want to get in there.”

Vanitas frowned at him but then remembered. That’s right, Ventus couldn’t get in the room. It was the best place for him to draw however and it did bother him a bit to get out of there, but he couldn’t simply say no to those soft green eyes. Well, actually he could. But he felt bad for the blond so he didn’t.

Unable to not notice how excited Ventus suddenly looked, Vanitas walked by him with his sketchbook, pencils, and eraser again. He put them all on the kitchen table, going back to get his cup of tea and coming back to find Ventus staring at his drawing, eyes wide.

“Whoa… Vanitas, this is… Outstanding!”

Vanitas blushed a little himself. “It’s nowhere as good as yours. Now that” He sat down, picking up the pencil again. “is outstanding.”

“You shouldn’t compare yourself to other artists. I could never draw such a beautiful animal. Everyone’s got their strengths and weaknesses. And that’s alright!” Ventus smiled but then started fidgeting when Vanitas looked at him. “I’m sorry, I can’t hold my tongue sometimes...”

“It’s fine. Talk as much as you’d like.”

Vanitas spent the entire afternoon adding up to his art, Ventus sitting beside him. He didn’t speak much but Vanitas could feel his presence and support there. Sitting quietly like this, it was just his way of helping him focus. Ventus probably knew by experience that focus was the key to any piece of art and Vanitas appreciated that.

When he finished it, there was a nice sketch of a forest behind the animal which now had beautiful and detailed fur. He groaned out loud, stretching his arms above his head when he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder and frowned. It was Ventus’ hand.

“Want me to get you more tea?”

The blond didn’t seem to mind his shocked expression so Vanitas just nodded, unsure if he could even deny anything after feeling that… Touch. How did he feel that touch? Vanitas was still processing if he was even supposed to feel Ventus like that, if he was supposed to feel him physically, and the blond was already back with more tea.

“... Thank y- Wait.” He turned to Ventus and the blond flinched. “How… How did you even hold this??”

“Ah… With my hands?” An awkward smiled covered his features and Vanitas shook his head. 

“No, I mean… Yeah, with your- I thought you couldn’t touch things! Like, as in, I thought they’d just-”

“Fall through? Yeah, I thought the same too when I was alive.” 

Ventus pulled the chair for him to sit down and Vanitas blinked in realization, thinking of the first time they’d spoken there and Ventus pulled the chair for him to sit on it. 

“Reality is much more boring than fantasy though.” Ventus shrugged. “I can’t go through walls, nor do I have psychic powers. It’s like… I’m still human. Just not seen by everyone.”

Vanitas closed his mouth, nodding in silence and then chuckling. Well, he supposed it made sense that things were like that. Kind of. But it did make him feel sorry for those who couldn’t see ghosts like he could see Ventus; it would be funny and yet mortifying to see a mug floating around and getting tea for itself!

“So… Does that mean you can… Touch everything?”

“Yeah. I can touch everything, even you. But you can't touch me, nor other people. I also, you know, try not to really do that. Don’t really want to scare anyone… But sometimes I bump into things. I’m a bit clumsy...”

Vanitas smiled at him, taking a sip of his drink. Actually looking at Ventus, staring at his face with care. Even though he was dead, there were still deep dark circles under his eyes. Even though he was dead, there was still a slight but noticeable shake in his hands. And even though he was dead, he was still smiling.

“Vanitas? Are you okay?”

“Oh? Ah, yeah, I’m alright.” Vanitas took what was left of his drink and put it on the table. Then it hit him. “Wait!”

“Hm?”

“If you can hold things then… Does that mean you can draw?”

“Wha-”

“You can continue with your painting! Can’t you? You said you never finished it before because you died but if you can hold things what’s keeping you from-”

“I can’t get in that room.” Ventus said, tense. “I swear I tried but… I just can’t bring myself to look inside.”

Vanitas opened his mouth to speak but kept himself from doing so. He had forgotten but shouldn’t, considering Ventus’ utter dislike towards the place.

“But...” He spoke again, smiling and trying to be helpful. “If I can bring it outside the room, do you think you could continue? Would… You like to, I mean?”

The blond stared at him with what Vanitas could only define as pure admiration. “But… Didn’t you say it was impossible to remove the painting from the wall?”

Vanitas’ smile died off and he looked down to his mug. It was true, it was impossible to remove it; he’d tried his best with Sora and Xion and then by himself. Nothing worked, there was a force on it and even though Ventus didn’t remember why it could only come from him. 

“Thank you.” Ventus smiled, staring down to the floor. “No one… Ever thought of doing something for me. I appreciate it.”

“You can still draw, though.”

“Uh?”

“Well, you… Can use my sketchbook. Or I can get you another one.” Vanitas rubbed at his neck, feeling Ventus’ eyes on him. “Would you like that?”

Ventus looked down at the sketchbook. “Would... You let me?”

“Sure, go on.” He gestured to the object and turned to another, empty page. “Do your magic.”

The blond still stared at him for a moment without moving, still in doubt and unsure if he could actually do it. Almost like a child asking for permission. When Vanitas gently nodded to him, confirming that yes, he could do it, Ventus’ eyes shined bright and he stood before the paper, picking up the pencil in his fingers.

“Do… Do you want me to draw something specific?”

Vanitas pulled the chair for Ventus to sit on and shook his head. “Just do what your heart tells you.” 

“O… Okay...” 

It was Vanitas’ turn to stand by and watch and from the moment Ventus started to draw he couldn’t pry his eyes away from one second. His movements were fierce and yet soft, gentle. His lines were, in a sense of the word, perfect. There was too much control in his hands and he didn’t frail, not even for a second, as he drew shapes and added shadows. Ventus drew for just a few minutes but Vanitas would’ve watched him do it for hours if he had the chance.

“So… What do you think?” He asked, his serious and focused expression now a shy, expecting one. Vanitas replied in a heartbeat.

“It’s amazing.” He smiled wider, staring at the beautiful landscape that had come to life before his eyes. Staring at the mountains in the background, the lake and the sun rays sketched over it. “You did all of that in… Twenty minutes. Insane!”

Ventus blushed and chuckled. “Aw, it was nothing. It just… Takes years of practice. I used to draw since I was a kid.”

“Well, you don’t have to stop, now!” Vanitas tilted his head, touching the sketchbook. “There’s a lot of empty pages here. You can use it.”

“But it’s yours! I couldn’t-”

“I can just buy another one. I mean it.” He stood up. “Draw to your heart’s content, I’m sure you miss doing it.”

The young man’s green eyes shined again, even brighter than before - Something Vanitas wasn’t even sure it was possible. They looked at each other for a moment, sharing their mutual silent support until Ventus spoke again.

“Thank you.”

* * *

It had been a month since Ventus first spoke to him and Vanitas was already used to having him around. 

The blond didn’t bother him, after all. Sometimes, he’d show up to remark something and leave. Other times, he’d ask Vanitas what he was doing and tell him how cool or different that was from 40 years ago. At first, it felt like having a curious kid around and Vanitas, despite his initial irritation, found some of his reactions amusing.

Despite living with him for only a month, he knew nothing would ever beat Ventus’ first time seeing a modern video game. Vanitas hadn’t installed it until then simply because he wasn’t in the mood to enjoy his games just yet. So on an especially boring Friday Night, he turned his console on and put in one of his favorite games.

He had been playing for twenty minutes when Ventus decided to show up, clearly holding himself from saying anything until he couldn’t hold it anymore.

“What is that? Is it a movie?”

“No, it’s a game.” Vanitas said, holding the controller up so Ven could see it, without ever taking his eyes off the screen.

“A… Game?” Ventus walked closer to the TV. “You’ve got to be kidding me. It looks like a movie, they… They’re so real, how…?!”

Vanitas laughed and looked at him this time. He really looked just like a kid with those shiny eyes.

“I suppose the other owners before me didn’t have one?”

“No. They did have some cool stuff but nothing like th- Oh my God, you can even see their pores! Are you sure this is a game? Aren’t you joking?”

“I’m not! Look, I’ll stop moving.” He put the controller on the floor and the character stopped immediately. Ventus opened his mouth in awe.

“Ohhh- Wait, look, he’s moving now!”

“That’s just his idle animation! You don’t stand up without moving even a little, do you?”

“Whoa… Impressive...”

They spent the rest of the night in the living room, Vanitas playing and Ventus watching him in complete silence aside from a few grunts and exclamations he let out with Vanitas’ character every move. Too amused to let that opportunity pass, Vanitas showed him other different games, delighted with the blond’s excitement.

“You know…” Ventus started. “I think this is the first time in all these years that I get to think so… Clearly.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Like… There are times when my mind goes blank. Things happen and… I don’t know why or how. As if I am taken over by someone else and lose all control over myself. So when I come to I just... People are scared of me.”

He laughed with awkwardness and Vanitas paused his game, frowning at him.

“You… Don’t you remember when I saw you in the kitchen? Or in the corridor? The first time?”

“Not everything.” He looked at Vanitas with an apologetic expression. “Just bits and pieces. I do remember you were frightened, though. That’s how I knew I had done it again.”

“... I see...”

Vanitas unpaused his game and continued, but his mind wasn’t entirely on it anymore. Ventus continued.

“I tried to contact people in the past, you know. There was a child once, he listened to me but… His parents didn’t like that too much and left the house. But you...” Ventus smiled to himself. “Despite being scared of me, you actually reached for me in your dream. You didn’t run away. I think that’s what helped me keep my mind in check.”

“You said you can’t control my dreams. But you know of them? How?”

“I don’t exactly know. But I feel it. It’s… Kinda hard to explain. Sorry I can’t give you all the answers you’d like.”

“No, it’s okay. I… I just didn’t expect that. I expected you to be a… I don’t know, omniscient being of sorts.”

“I know, right? I too always imagined ghosts were like, these powerful entities who knew everything. No luck with that. Or maybe I'm just broken."

"Well… I imagine it'd be boring to know everything anyway. So perhaps you're not the one who's broken."

Ventus smiled at him again, calmly and softly. With him like that, Vanitas could forget a little about the frightening image he’d seen on his first days at the place. 

“I believe you can’t explain everything either, can you?” Ventus asked after a few seconds.

“Hm?”

“As in… Why did you go after me? No one ever did. But you did. Despite being afraid… Why?”

Vanitas thought about it for a moment. “Yeah… I can’t explain that either. But… Hell, you’re a ghost. I guess not everything needs an explanation after all.”

“I guess. I wish I knew why I’m still stuck in here though. Being here is nice but… I don’t belong anymore. I wish I could move on.”

Vanitas turned to him, noticing a more somber expression on his face. He paused again, looking at him and Ventus smiled compassionately.

“I don’t really remember anything… About myself, I mean. Like everything else, I can only remember bits and pieces of my life.”

“What do you remember?”

“Mm… I remember going to college. I think it was the reason why I came to this town, to study. I also remember painting a lot, just not where all of my work went.”

“Maybe you sold it?”

“Nah, I didn’t. No one seemed too interested in them anyway.”

“How couldn’t they? Your paintings are amazing!" At least he could imagine they were, judging by the one in the office. Ventus shook his head and laughed.

“I guess people just have different tastes. But, yeah, I tried to get better through college. Can’t remember if it worked though.”

“How about your family?” Vanitas risked, hoping he wasn’t being too nosy. “Did you live by yourself?”

“Yeah. I lived in this house with my mom and my dad when I was young… Then came back here as an adult.” Ventus crossed his arms. “What happened in between though… It’s a mystery to me.”

“Don’t you have, like… Memory glimpses? Can’t you feel things at times?”

“Not when I’m conscious of my actions, no. I do feel cold, though… Like, there’s this memory of the feeling. It’s weird.”

Vanitas rubbed at his neck, sighing. Ventus’ existence sounded too depressing to him and, by Ven’s expression, he definitely felt the same way. But what could he do about it, being stuck in that plane of existence?

“... You said you can’t move on. Nor come back. And that you can’t remember much of your life.” Ventus nodded again, tilting his head at Vanitas. “What if… These are related?”

“Uh?”

“Maybe“, Vanitas widened his eyes, gesturing at him. “you’re stuck here because there’s something you have to remember. Something that… That is holding you back, keeping you in here.”

“Oh, no… If that’s the case, then I’ll be stuck here forever!”

“No, you won’t! Not if you remember what that something is!” There was a second of silence. “I’ll help you with that.”

“You what?”

“I’ll help you with it. I mean, I’m not leaving this place and neither are you. So if I can help you remember what’s holding you here-”

“I can finally be free… Yeah! It makes sense!”

Vanitas nodded and Ventus smiled at him, barely able to contain his excitement, then went serious again. “But… How?”

“I don’t know.” Vanitas chuckled. “Maybe you can… Try to tell me things. We can talk, perhaps? I can go around the town, ask some people about you… We can try it. It might work.”

Ventus smiled again. “Yeah… It might work.”


	3. Chapter 3

“You look tired.”

Vanitas rubbed his eyes. Ventus was sitting on the other chair, in front of him.

“Did you sleep well last night?”

“I did. Just… Not enough, it seems.” He yawned, not ready to face Monday just yet. He’d much rather stay home and rest more.

“Well, maybe try to go to bed earlier today. Lack of sleep is bad for your health, you know?”

Vanitas nodded, his mind still dizzy with sleep when his cell phone started to ring. It was Xion. What did she want so early…?

“Hello…?”

“Vani, hi! Good morning!”

“Morning, princess.”

“You sound tired.” She laughed and Vanitas raised his brow at Ventus, who simply frowned without understanding. “Haven’t slept enough, uh?”

“... Maybe not. But, hey, you’re the one who called so early. What’s up?”

“Just calling to say I love you!”

“...And?”

“... And to ask you for help, please, call Sora later on?”

“What’s wrong with him? Is he bothering you again?”

“No, he’s… I think he has a crush. And it’s a boy from his class.”

“A crush?” Vanitas smiled wide, suddenly very awake. ”Oh God, he’s grown!”

“I guess? He’s super depressed though, and won’t leave his room unless someone calls him. Kairi told me he’s struggling with that because he doesn’t know if he should tell him or not.”

“Wait, let me guess… It’s Riku.”

“Obvious, isn’t it?”

“It’s been obvious for years!” Vanitas laughed. “Right… So you want me to talk to him about it? Is that it?”

“Yeah! Maybe give him some advice? He won’t listen to me, no matter what I say! And he misses you so much, I’m sure he’ll be willing to listen”

Ventus observed him without saying a word, sometimes looking down at his own hand when he felt like he was intruding. It was nice, however, to see Vanitas laugh like that. He looked so happy and overjoyed! He wished he could feel that happy too.

“Alright, then. Leave it to me, Xi. I’ll call him later on and fill you in with the news.”

“You’re the best, bro! I’ll let you go to work then. Don’t abuse the coffee, alright? Take it easy and remember we love you!”

“I love you too! Lots!”

“Lots!”

Vanitas hung up and smiled at the phone again, affectionately. Ventus smiled at him.

“You sounded really happy. Family?”

“Yeah. My sister, actually. You’d love her, she’s the sweetest.”

“Oh. You mentioned her before. Xion, isn’t it?”

“Mmhm. There is also Sora, he’s the youngest. A bit clumsy but that’s how little brothers are.”

“Oh…” Ventus looked down, staring at nothing in particular. ”It... Must be nice to have siblings!”

“It is. The best thing in the world actually.” Vanitas got up, stretching his arms above his head and sighing. “Well, enough talking then. It’s time to work.”

“Okay.” Ventus stood up too, letting Vanitas get his suitcase before walking to the door after him. “Have a nice day at work!”

Vanitas stopped with his hand on the doorknob. He looked back at the blond for a moment, wondering just how much he would draw until he came back, and smiled.

“Thanks, Ven. Have a nice day too!”

He locked the door as he left. Behind him, Ventus watched him leave through the windows, his eyes shining bright at the nickname he had just been given.

* * *

Vanitas had just fixed an awful bug when the clock ticked 12:00 and he rubbed his hands together, excited for lunch. His stomach had been grumbling for a while now and, oh, did he need some time away from that computer screen.

He really enjoyed chatting with the others during lunch time but today there was someone else he wanted to talk to.

“So… What’s up?”

“What’s… Hm?” Sora laughed from the other side of the line, clearly nervous.

“What’s up? Something happening over there?”

“What? No, no, everything’s fine, brother! Why do you ask?”

Vanitas smiled to himself, throwing a piece of cake into his mouth. “You know you can’t hide things from me. You’re stuttering, young man.”

“Van, what’s gotten into you?” Sora laughed again and Vanitas laughed with him. He couldn’t bring himself to do it; he wanted to talk to him in person, to actually see his face turning red as a tomato. Maybe he could. 

“Well… You know, Xion said you miss me. So I thought that… Maybe you’d both like to spend a weekend here with me? I know it hasn’t been long since I came but it might be good for you. I’ll be a little busy this week but… Next one maybe?”

“Oh.” He heard Sora’s relieved sigh on the other side and chuckled. “Missing us already, huh?”

“Of course I am. So? What do you say? Come here, spend some time with your brother… Sounds fun, doesn’t it?”

“... What are you planning?”

“Nothing! I just miss you!”

“Right… Heh, fine. I’ll talk to Xion, see if we can go. I’ll let you know when she tells me.“

“It’s settled! Then you can tell me all about Riku. ”

“Wait, w-”

“See you next week!”

Vanitas turned off the phone and laughed out loud, watching the hundreds of desperate messages from his little brother pop on the screen. Well, why not? He’d been planning to bring them over anyway. And it was always fun to mess a bit with his little one.

* * *

“Good evening!” Vanitas said the moment he stepped indoors. From upstairs, Ventus’ excited voice reached him.

“Hi! How was your day?”

“It was fine. Well, it’s better now that I’m home.” He went upstairs to his room to leave the suitcase there, where he found Ventus staring at the mirror. “Uh… What are you doing?”

A sudden chill came all over him and Vanitas expected to look into the mirror and see something besides the Ventus he knew. Something like the Ventus who would get out of control then forget all about it. But there was nothing, or at least there didn’t seem to be.

“I… I was remembering some things today.”

“Yeah…?”

“I hated mirrors.” He turned back to Vanitas, distressed. “I… Couldn’t stand them. Looking at this one now, it makes me feel sick. I… Want to break it. But I don’t know why.”

Vanitas frowned, not knowing why either. “Uh… Don’t… Break it though. It was expensive.” He said, trying to make Ventus laugh at his stupid joke. He did.

“I won’t break it! But… I remember doing that before. Weird, isn’t it?”

”Well… We don’t know yet. But it’s good that you remembered something?”

He chuckled. “I guess it is.”

Ventus waited until Vanitas put everything away in silence, still staring at his reflection and trying to understand why he felt so uneasy when standing in front of it. He was pulled out of his trance however as soon as Vanitas walked by him.

“Wait! Vanitas, there’s, ah, there’s something I want to show you!”

“... Okay?” Vanitas raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“So, you know how you… Nevermind, just… Close your eyes!”

“You’re not gonna scare me, are you?” Vanitas asked but did as he was asked.

“No, of course not! I just want it to be a surprise!”

Vanitas crossed his arms with an amused smirk, waiting for Ventus to get whatever it was that he wanted to show him. It didn’t take long, just a few seconds at most, and he felt a gentle poke on his arm.

“I hope you like it!”

The raven opened his eyes, staring directly at a drawing of a bunny in a forest. Not just any forest or any rabbit though; it almost looked a photo! He could almost feel the fluffy fur of the animal and the breeze that gave movement to the leaves of the trees. Everything was in color. It was… Beautiful.

“I’m sorry I picked your colored pencils without your permission!” Ventus apologized hastily, gesturing nonstop. “I wanted something more than just a sketch so I thought ‘Hey, it’d look nice in colors!’ and I picked them up and started to color and couldn’t bring myself to st-”

“Ventus.”

“Y… Yeah?”

Vanitas held the drawing in his hand and looked up at him with the warmest smile. “I love it.” 

“Really…?” Ventus’s cheeks were pink and he giggled, holding his hands together on his chest. “I tried my best! It’s the least I can do after everything you’ve done to me! S-So I’m really happy you like it!”

“How could I not like it? It’s amazing! You’ll turn out to be one of my favorite artists at this pace.”

He giggled even more. “Oh, no, no, I’m… There are many other people that deserve such a thing, I-”

“You shouldn’t compare yourself to other artists.”

Ventus opened his mouth to complain but stopped at the playful grin Vanitas gave him. After a moment of pure bliss, Vanitas chuckled and put the drawing down.

“Thank you, Ventus. You’re… Really kind.”

“I’m just happy you like it. Thank you too. For still being here.”

“I have no intention of leaving any time soon.”

They both went down the stairs, side by side, and the silence they shared was no longer awkward. Now it was comforting and enjoyable, to have someone by their side who enjoyed their company. 

“So, I was thinking…!” Ventus announced minutes later.

“Hm?”

“Like, you’ve been here for quite a while now and... You’ve put up with me for longer than anyone has! Like, you actually talk to me and… You make me feel less alone.”

“Oh.” Vanitas wasn’t expecting that. “Ah, that’s fine, really. I mean, you live here, I live here. I enjoy talking to you.”

“You do?”

“Yeah! You, uh… Make me feel less lonely too.”

“I’m… Glad to hear that...”

Ventus beamed and Vanitas smiled at him. They walked to the kitchen together and Vanitas started to gather the things he needed to make dinner. 

“Heh… Well then, what were you thinking about?” He asked, putting a few vegetables on the sink.

“Oh yeah! Like, we’ve been making the other feel less lonely but I still don’t know that much about you.” Vanitas turned to him then back to the carrot he was cutting. “I mean, I only know a few things you like and that you have a sister and a brother. That’s pretty much it!”

“... Indeed...”

“Right! So, like, maybe… Maybe you could tell me a bit more about yourself?”

"There isn't much to tell, though. My life is kinda boring.” He started to peel the potatoes. “But… Why would you want to know about my life anyway? I don’t mind sharing but… Why?"

Ventus crossed his arms, deep in thought. He tapped his finger against his mouth for a moment.

“Well… I just… I feel like we’re... Friends.” He smiled sheepishly at Vanitas. “So I guess I just want to know you better?” Ventus frowned then smiled. “Yeah. I just want to know you better.

Vanitas slightly tilted his head to the side. If he had told himself years ago that he’d actually befriend a ghost he’d probably laugh his head off, but he had gotten used to having Ventus around like this. The overall idea of it was insane but it didn’t matter anymore. Or for now.

“Well… Alright then.” Ventus smiled in awe; Vanitas laughed. “What do you wanna know?”

“I… Don’t know, I was expecting you to tell me.”

“But what can I tell you about? There are too many things!”

“Ha, so now your life isn’t that boring anymore, is it?”

“It’s boring, yeah, but it’s also long!”

“Aw, come on!”

Vanitas rolled his eyes but he did so with a smile, letting the potatoes and carrots boil and sitting on a chair. He told Ventus about the soup he was making and how he’d learned to make it with his father before he left. He told him about his first job as a fast food server and how much he loved it. He told him about when he started to draw and to fall in love with art. Vanitas told him many things, much more than he could’ve expected to share while making dinner, and while it was all boring to him he could see in Ventus’ face how much he enjoyed listening to him.

“So, Mr. Colfer, anything else you’d like to know?” He asked in a playful tone. Ventus shook his head and thought.

“Mmm… Why did you come here? To this town?”

“Because of work.” He stopped for a moment to think. “They pay me less but it’s a much better job in a much better place. What about you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, why did you come to town? I mean, you said you came here for college, but you didn’t tell me what you were studying.”

“I…” Ventus frowned. ”Well, yeah, I came here to study. I just… Can’t remember what it was that I was studying.”

Vanitas cleared his throat. “I see… And, uh… Did you finish it? Like, did you graduate?”

“... I don’t think I did.” Ventus pressed his lips together, focused, and Vanitas stared at him. “I mean, I think I’d remember that if I did. I wonder if I died before I could finish...”

“... How-” Vanitas held himself. Everything had been smooth until now. They were having a nice conversation, there was no reason for him to bring up Ventus’ death right now. “I mean, when… Did you start college? Right after high school, perhaps?”

“Yeah. My dad said I needed to focus on my future. I don’t… Remember him much though. And my mom, she-”

Ventus stopped and so did Vanitas, staring intently at him. Everything got too quiet too suddenly and the change was felt in the air. Before he backed down however Ventus blinked tight and looked at him, slightly out of breath.

“I… I’m… Sorry, I got carried away.”

“Don’t worry. It’s, uh, alright.” 

He smiled and got up to check on the soup. Ventus didn’t say anything, Vanitas didn’t say anything more either and Xehanort’s voice echoed in his head. 

_Some believe it’s a vengeful spirit but no one knows what exactly it wants to avenge._

* * *

"Talking to ghosts, are you?"

Vanitas was on bakery again. He wasn’t sure of why he was going there more often, there was nothing more he wanted to ask for now. ‘Just in case’, he told himself. Xehanort was still the best lead he had on what happened to Ventus, so if anything arose at least he was around.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re talking to him… Aren’t you?”

“Talking to wh-”

“Don’t lie to me, lad. You’ve been talking to Ventus’ spirit. Fraternizing with him, haven’t you?”

He opened his mouth to reply but closed it again, taken by surprise. Xehanort didn’t seem like the kind of person who’d stalk others so there was no way he would’ve seen him talking to Ven!

“Why do you think that?”

“I can see it in your eyes.”

The man sat in front of him just like last time. Vanitas wasn’t drinking anything yet, he’d been holding the menu for a while now, but with this much seriousness, he wasn’t even sure he was going to get something to eat. Xehanort shook his head and sighed.

“… You remember what I told you about the people who came before you?”

“Yes?”

“Well, I also told you that… No one leaves that place untainted. That’s because I’ve seen it for the past forty years. I’ve seen it happen and I’m afraid it’s happening to you too.”

“What is happening to me? There’s nothing happening to me, I’m fine!”

“You look tired. More than usual. You’re paler and your voice is weaker.” Vanitas frowned at him and Xehanort smiled without really wanting to. “And you haven’t noticed that yet.”

Vanitas shrugged, looking out of the window. “Your point?”

“Spirits can inhabit places for… Many many years. They become a part of it, sometimes living within objects to keep some of their… Clarity of mind. It keeps themselves aware.” 

He paused for a moment. “If not a place or an object… They might even latch on to a living thing. They feed on the life that is not theirs, even if they don’t want to. The others before you fell sick not too long after getting in the house and because you seemed to be alright I imagined things could be different this time around-”

“Are you suggesting that Ventus is… Using me somehow?”

“Yes. Maybe not consciously, but it’s part of their nature. The closer you get to them, the closer you get to _it_.”

“... It?”

The man moved in closer and his voice was heavy with worry. “Death.”

Vanitas blinked a few times and smiled awkwardly, looking from Xehanort to the window and back again.

“Wha- No, I’m… I feel fine! It’s been over a month since I moved in and there haven’t been hauntings anymore.”

“It has nothing to do with hauntings or even with intentions! They need something to hold on to! Ghosts, spirits who lived among us can’t come back neither move on, they need to have something to keep them sane in this plane!”

Vanitas cleared his throat. “You… Seem to know a lot about these things, Mr. Moore.”

“I’ve had my experiences, boy. But this isn’t about me, this is about you!” He pointed at him, serious. “You need to stay away from him. It’s a good thing there haven’t been any more hauntings but there can’t be harmony either when living with such an unnatural thing.”

“W… What do you expect me to do, though? I can’t simply-”

“Leave the house.”

“No!” He shook his head. “No way. That’s my home! I just moved in, I can’t-”

“You either leave the house… Or find a way to make _it_ leave. For your safety.”

Except for them, there was no one there but Vanitas felt like being watched. Not by Ventus or even another supernatural entity. He felt watched by himself, by his own thoughts. Ventus did say he had never thought so clearly before and that no one had ever reached for him in all those years... 

“He...”

Xehanort looked attentively at him. Vanitas cleared his throat and spoke.

“He… Used to be hard to see before. But now I… I can see him more clearly. And… I can feel his touches too.”

The man bit his bottom lip and looked down, tapping his fingers on the table. Vanitas could tell by his expression that this wasn’t a good thing or a good sign. If Xehanort was right about these things, if he really meant everything he said, seeing Ventus didn’t mean the blond was getting closer to life.

No. It meant Vanitas himself was getting closer to death. 


	4. Chapter 4

“Do you think they would like me?” Ventus asked, not looking at him straight in the eye. 

“I’m sure they would. How could they not?“

It was Saturday, 7 in the morning. Vanitas had woken up earlier, cleaning the place yet again while Ventus helped him with it. It was weird; he was almost like a living person now and Vanitas had to constantly remind himself that he wasn't.

He also had to remind himself of what it meant for him not to be so transparent anymore, but he really didn't want to think about that now. The constant will to lay down again and his occasional coughing that came out of nowhere, however, did that for him.

“Well, I’m… People used to get tired of me. You’re the only one who cares.”

“These people have no idea of what they lost. You're amazing, Ven."

Ventus blushed and smiled to himself before resuming his chores.

Xion and Sora would take their bus at 8, which meant they'd arrived around 11. There was plenty of time but Vanitas wanted everything to be perfect for them. He had bought more food, paying attention to get his siblings' favorite sweets, and decided to make pasta for lunch. All controllers for the video games were charged and there were even movies for them to watch. It would've been perfect if he wasn't feeling so… Exhausted.

He had woken up early, yes, but not just to clean the house. It was a sharp pain on his chest and the coughing that woke him up. He had pushed himself out of the bed and tried to go to the bathroom before he threw up but didn't make it in time, leaning his back on the wall.

"Vanitas, you should go to the hospital." Ventus told him while cleaning the floor, forcing Vanitas to sit down for a moment. "You're getting sick! Tell your siblings to come another day!"

"I'll be fine." He said. "They were excited to come. Can't let them down."

"But Van, if you're not feeling well, then-"

"It was just a cough. I'm okay, Ven."

It was  just before lunchtime when Vanitas arrived with Sora and Xion, having gone to get them at the bus station. Ventus watched him park the car through the window and, for a moment, forgot about Vanitas' current state to watch them.  It was adorable to see them together; he could tell just how much Vanitas loved them by the way they hugged and laughed and he could tell both loved him too.  Sora looked so much like his older brother! And Xion, with her hair as black as his, even nailed his mannerisms. Ventus couldn't bring himself to look away, not when they were all being so sweet like that, but he eventually did when they approached the door.

"Whoa!" Xion exclaimed as she stepped inside, rubbing her arm. "It's kinda cold here."

"You think?" Vanitas smiled, closing the door after Sora got in. He looked at Ventus, standing at the top of the stairs, and smiled at him. The blond smiled back and disappeared.

"Everything's so clean. See, Sora? Try to learn a bit with your big brother." Xion said with a grin and the boy huffed.

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

Vanitas chuckled and helped to take their stuff to his room where they'd be sleeping. He was going to sleep in the living room, on the sofa, and while he knew they would complain and say he'd be cold, Vanitas didn't mind. He was just glad they were around.

After everything was settled, the three of them went to the kitchen for lunch. It was sunny, so they took the table and chairs to the backyard and spent the afternoon there, eating and chatting, joking and laughing.

“Oh, how I missed your food!” Sora exclaimed suddenly, eating yet some more of Vanitas’ pasta. “Xion cooks well but you’re still the best.”

“Well… It was I who taught her.“ Vanitas smirked and she gave him a nudge. “Hey, I didn’t say mine was better!”

“You better not! I’m trying my best, you know!”

“I know you are! It’s Sora who’s complaining!”

“I wasn’t complaining, I was just… Geez, guys!”

Vanitas laughed with them and looked back at the door. Ventus was standing there, smiling softly at them but also with a bit of sadness in his eyes. Vanitas pressed his lips together; he wished Ventus could get out of the house. If he was able to, he would take him everywhere, show him around the town and even to other places. It’d be fun.

“What are you looking at?” Sora asked, taking a sip from his juice.

“Oh?” Vanitas looked back at them. “Nothing.”

Ventus had disappeared again.

At night, the three of them joined in the living room to play a multiplayer game. It was a fighting game and Vanitas had won three times in a row before Xion spoke to him.

“... You know, maybe you should sleep on the bed. Sora or I can sleep here, no problem.”

“You can sleep upstairs, I don’t mind.” Vanitas said just as he defeated Sora again with a  _ yes _ .

“Maybe you should take a nap then? While we’re here?”

Vanitas frowned, giving her the controller. “A nap? Why?”

“I don’t know… You look so tired. Maybe you need it.” Xion smiled awkwardly and Sora nodded next to her, choosing another character to play as.

“Yeah, you can sleep as much as you’d like now that we’re here. We’ll watch over the house, don’t worry!”

“Well, thanks for the worry, but I’m fine. I don’t want to sleep now.” He said, standing up with a groan. “Want me to make us some tea?”

Ventus was in the kitchen when Vanitas came in and waved at him. The blond smiled and looked back to the other two in the living room, clearly hesitating. Putting the water to boil, Vanitas frowned at him and took a step closer.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m… I don’t know.” Ventus looked down, holding his hands together. Vanitas instinctively moved his hand to rest on his shoulder but it went through and he slowly recoiled, remembering that while Ventus could touch him, the contrary couldn't be done. “Your siblings are lovely, though.”

“They are, yeah...” 

Vanitas turned around to check the water, listening as Xion and Sora threatened each other in the game. He shook his head in delight, getting himself three mugs and spoke again, whispering.

“So… They can’t see you and I know you want to be there too. Why don’t you come with me?”

“Oh, I… I’m not sure. I’m shy.”

“It’s okay… I mean, I’ll be there.” Ventus looked at him and Vanitas felt himself blush. “You can… Stay there and watch. They’re good kids, I’m sure you’ll have fun.”

Xion called from the living room. “Van? Did you call?”

“Y-Yeah, I said I’ll be there in a minute!” He picked up the cups and nodded at Ven. “I’ll be waiting for you.”

Vanitas waited, but Ventus didn't join them. They played until around 10 PM and by then Vanitas could barely keep his eyes open, just watching the other two play while laying on the couch. After failing to convince him to go upstairs, Xion and Sora wished him good night and made sure he had enough blankets before leaving for his bedroom.

Vanitas turned around on the sofa when he heard footsteps behind him and turned around again to look.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” Ventus smiled, looking at him almost apologetically. “You… You okay?”

“Yeah. Are you?”

“I’m… I’m still tense. Seeing your siblings, it… I think I’m remembering things. Not entirely, but...”

“You should’ve watched them play.” Vanitas said, his voice slurred with sleep. “I was waiting for you...”

“Sorry, Van... Maybe… Maybe tomorrow? I’m really afraid that things will get out of control if I-”

Vanitas sighed and nodded. “It’s alright. I understand.”

“How are you though?” He sat on the floor, by his side. “You’re… Are you still tired?”

“A little. But I didn’t throw up again. Good, right?”

“Good, yeah. Good...”

“Good night, Ven.”

“... Good night.”

He closed his eyes and pulled his blanket to himself, holding it close. With a soft gaze, Ventus gently touched the raven’s hair and played with it, hoping it’d help him sleep better. Once Vanitas was finally sound asleep, he stood up and left, taking one last look at the office’s door and walking away.

* * *

Vanitas was woken up by Sora the next day. He felt a gentle shake on his shoulder and was greeted with the magical words ‘We made breakfast’, waking up almost instantly after that.

“I told you it would work.” Xion said from the kitchen, putting the pancakes she had made on the table and waiting for them to join her. “Come on, Van, I made your favorites!”

“I’m coming...” He announced, putting on his slippers and trying to stand up before sitting down again, suddenly overtaken by dizziness. Sora rushed to him, staring attentively at his big brother.

“Van, are you okay?”

“Y… Yeah.” He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. Before Sora could help him, he forced himself to stand up, trying to show him he was alright. “Just stood up too fast.”

“Are you sure…?”

“Mhm. I just need to-”

He saw something move in the corridor and squinted his eyes to look. Ventus had just come upstairs and he looked… Nervous. He heard Xion call from the kitchen.

“Something wrong in there?”

“No, everything’s fine. I just need to eat and I’ll be alright.”

Sora didn’t say anything but walked by his side to the kitchen. They ate in silence, an unnatural feeling inside the house. Xion and Sora dismissed it as his house being too cold on itself, but Vanitas was starting to worry. 

For the rest of the morning, Vanitas looked around. All the time. He kept looking for Ventus but couldn’t find him simply because Ventus didn’t want to approach them right now. Xion and Sora noticed, of course, and even offered to take him to a hospital, but he refused.  _ I’m fine _ , he said as he looked around again.  It wasn’t until 2 PM that he gave up looking for him, simply because it was time to take his siblings to the station. And that was when Vanitas finally saw the blond, staring at him from the bottom of the stairs.

Ventus looked tense. There was something behind his eyes that Vanitas couldn't quite understand what was, but even though it was foreign Vanitas himself wasn't scared. But Ventus was. He looked frightened, giving it his all to stay in control, and Vanitas knew then he had to leave.

He helped them to the car again, sad because they were leaving but worried that they might see whatever was about to happen. Locking the house with attention but hurriedly, Vanitas walked to the car and took off, his mind not on the road before him.

Why did he Ventus look so tense? What about his siblings had made him feel so-

“Van?” He heard Xion ask, his gaze still focused where Ventus stood just a few seconds ago. He had disappeared. “What is it?”

“Mm? Uh, nothing, I...”

“Hey, you okay?” Sora stopped in front of him, pulling his attention away from the empty spot and back to them. “You’re… Pale. And you look nervous, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Sora..” His siblings stared at him with doubt and he smiled, ruffling their hair at the same time. “Come on, I told you I’m alright! Work has been kicking my ass lately, that’s all!”

“Riiight.” Xion crossed her arms and smiled, giving in for now not to upset him further. Even Vanitas could tell however that neither she nor Sora believed him.

The drive to the bus station was much quieter than when they came from there. Vanitas’ fingers tapped on the steering wheel and whatever words Xion and Sora were saying passed through him, ignored. His mind was somewhere else, on someone else to be precise. There was so much fear in Ven's eyes-

“Brother!”

He blinked and turned to look at Xion, who now stared at him with an angry frown.

“What?”

“Please, stop the car.”

“What? I can’t stop right now, you’ll miss the b-”

“We can wait for the next one.” Sora said promptly and Xion nodded, glaring at her older brother. He sighed.

“We mean it. Please, stop the car.”

Vanitas rolled his eyes. He didn’t want to stop, he wanted to go home to make sure things were alright back there, but he gave up and did as he was asked with an upset groan.

“So… What is it?” He asked, resting his head against his closed fist and looking at them with annoyance.

“... Brother, what’s going on?” Xion asked and her angry expression turned into a worried one. Sora leaned forward, sharing her same expression.

Vanitas looked from one to the other. “What do you mean?”

“There is something happening, isn’t there?” Sora asked, pressing his lips together. “You’re… Strange.”

“Do I really look  _ that  _ bad? You said I’m tired more times than I could count by now.”

“Have you even looked at yourself on the mirror these days?” Xion insisted, frowning. “Brother, you look… Exhausted, you look-”

“Sick.” Sora admitted, biting his bottom lip. “You look sick.”

Vanitas stared at them in denial but held back any words he wanted to say. Against his will, just because he wanted to prove them he was fine, he pulled the rearview mirror and stared at himself. For a moment he didn’t really see anything different, just his good old self, and was ready to tell them that. But the more he looked the more he could see it. The bags under his eyes, his lackluster skin, just how much pale he was. He frowned, genuinely nervous now, and looked back to them.

Xion shook her head in disbelief. “You hadn’t noticed?”

No, he hadn’t. Which was unthinkable because he looked at himself in the mirror every day before and after work. How was it possible to not notice these changes? Or maybe he did notice them, just didn’t give it too much thought?

“What’s going on?” Sora put a hand on Vanitas’ shoulder, smiling softly at him. “You can tell us, you know. You may be our big brother, but we’re also big now.”

“Yeah, Van. We can help! You just gotta tell us what-”

“No.” Vanitas held his hand up, asking them to stop. “Look... Kids, I… I’m not used to living by myself. These past months have been… Wild. Things have changed, I’m just still getting used to all of it and-”

“You’re not working on weekends, are you?”

“No, I have them all free, why are you asking t-”

“So you have time to sleep! To rest! Are you eating well or are you just buying junk food?”

“Oh, wow...” Vanitas grumbled, running his shaky hands through his messy hair. “Here I thought you had had a good time at my place, but-”

“Van, we did have a good time!” Xion reached for his hand, holding it with care, and Sora nodded. “It was the best weekend ever, we missed you so much! But that’s why we are so worried! We...”

“We can’t help you if we’re too far.”

Vanitas frowned in dismay and looked up at them, feeling very emotional out of a sudden. What had just happened? He had always been responsible for them and now both teamed up to take care of him? A shy smile curved his lips and he sighed, holding Xion’s hand back and reaching for Sora’s.

“Listen...I’m fine.” He laughed at their glares. “Maybe not as fine as I was before, but… Things will get better. Everything will be okay. Just give me a few more weeks and I’ll be in top shape.”

“What if you’re not?”

“Well, then… You can come and save me if that’s what you really want!”

The three of them smiled and Vanitas realized he had never felt so proud of his little ones. He let go of them and Sora spoke again.

“But… Isn’t there anything happening? You don’t need to say what it is, just… Is something happening right now?”

Vanitas looked out of the window, reminded of who he hoped was still waiting for him to come home. He was supposed to tell them. If he told them he’d been living with a spirit they would certainly think he was crazy and take him to a hospital right away. That couldn’t happen yet, not until he was sure Ventus was alright.

“... No. I just...” Vanitas closed his eyes then looked back to them. “I just feel kinda lonely, that’s all.”

He did, indeed, when he first arrived. Not quite since he’d befriended Ventus. But, as he knew they would, they fell for it and smiled at him, promptly letting him know they’d be back soon. It was enough for now: Just a small lie that wouldn’t (or shouldn’t) hurt anybody.

Once they were finally (But just barely) convinced he would be okay, Sora and Xion let him take them to the station. They hugged him tighter than when they arrived and Xion even shed a few tears before both got on their bus and left, waving at him.Vanitas stood still, just waiting for them to be out of sight, and went back running to his car and straight back home.

His hands were shaking even more now and he was assaulted with a really bad feeling that only grew stronger the closer he got to his destination. It took him seconds to park and turn off the car and he literally jumped the stairs to go inside, closing the door without even looking at it and standing in the corridor.

“Ventus?”

There was no sound. At all! As if a volume button had been turned down in reality. The only thing that kept him from freaking out was that he could at least hear his own voice, even if it felt out of place.

“Ventus? You there?” He looked to the stairs but decided to go to the kitchen instead. The kitchen, again. He lowered his voice, nervous and worried, and cautiously moved forward. He felt a knot in his stomach and a wave of anxiety came over him, but he pushed forward, he forced himself not to stop!

".... Ven?"

He looked to the corner of the kitchen and widened his eyes. In the same place as his dream from ages ago, there stood Ventus, sitting on the floor and holding his face in his hands. Vanitas stopped moving and just stared at him. Something was wrong.

"... Ven, are you-?"

"She didn't need to…"

Vanitas gritted his teeth as Ventus looked up and his insides twisted around themselves. Ventus' eyes were shining bright of an almost blinding green and there was blood running down his face, coming out of his mouth and nose. He was shaking and mumbling and pressing his nails deeper into his scalp.

“She… Why did she...”

“... Ven...”

“She didn’t need to. I… Just needed some help.” He looked up to him and a sadistic grin curved his lips as he stared at Vanitas, no the sweet and kind Ventus, but the green-eyed man from his nightmares. The kitchen got suddenly darker than before, it became suffocating, and Vanitas was tempted to take a step back and run!

But he didn’t. He stood still and stared back, deep into the ethereal green glow.

“Ventus, it’s me!”

“You’re not welcome here.” Ventus said. Of course it was Ventus, how could he think it wasn’t? That was Ventus, maybe not in control, not conscious of what he was doing, but it was _his_ _Ventus_! “You are not. Welcome. Here!”

“This is our house! We are both welcome here!” Vanitas insisted and took a step back. Ventus’ smile grew bigger, tears running down his face.

“ _ Our  _ house?” Ventus too stepped forward and for a moment Vanitas could swear there was a gun in the blond’s fingers. But then he blinked and it was gone.

“Yes. Our! Not yours, not mine, but ours!” Vanitas clenched his fingers into fists, checking for the gun again, not finding it. “You need to focus on here, on now! You must-”

“She didn’t need to...” Ventus whispered and then laughed, his eyes fixed on him as if he was a prize, as if he was a prey! “She didn’t need to… Why did she...”

“Ventus, what are you talking ab-” 

“I-I… I didn’t mean to!” Ventus sobbed, clutching his chest with both hands and squeezing his eyes shut. “I… I just wanted to help, but she... I should’ve been the one… Not h-him…”

Vanitas closed his eyes for a second and his heart ached for the blond. He wanted to end that distress, he wanted to help him, but his head felt as if about to explode and his body got colder and colder and-

“But I loved her.” Ventus sobbed, looking up to Vanitas again, tears covering his eyes. “I-I loved her! I just wanted to keep her safe, to keep… To keep… _Him_ … Safe…!”

“… Ven…”

Vanitas’ vision grew darker and his breathing harsher by the second, and yet he didn’t feel afraid. He couldn’t; Ventus was scared. He had to be there for him! With another step forward, Vanitas took the risk and moved to touch Ventus’ face. He knew he couldn’t really touch him, but he could still make him feel, he could-

Vanitas widened his eyes. He felt him. He  _ actually _ felt him, his skin, his tears, the blood that was now on his own fingers! He was literally  _ touching  _ Ventus even though he shouldn’t be able to, how was he-

It didn’t matter.

“Hey.” 

It didn’t matter now.

“It’s okay.”

The blond stared up at him and Vanitas himself teared up. Ventus looked confused and so, so scared. He didn’t know what had brought that up, but to see him that broken, to see him that hurt, it killed him inside. Vanitas held back his tears and stroked his cheeks, smiling at him with gentle and kind. Vanitas couldn't accept that. What had caused such a gentle soul to break to the point of taking his own life?

“It’s okay, Ven. I’m here.”

Vanitas pulled the blond to him, tightening his arms around his body and keeping him safe against his chest. Ventus was sobbing.

“You’re not alone.”

Ventus’ crying became louder and he broke down, gripping at Vanitas’ clothes, hiccupping and shaking, his heart and mind aching so much like they were bleeding. He didn't know why Vanitas could hold him either, but he needed that, he needed to be held by him.

“I’m sorry! I-I’m so sorry, Vani, I didn’t… I-I didn’t mean to scare you, I swear-!”

“Shh… It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Ventus grabbed onto him, apologizing endlessly while Vanitas held him, never letting go. Holding him like this, truly feeling him in his arms for the first time, should’ve been a sign but Vanitas didn’t think of it that way. All he could think of was of how Ventus wished him good morning. Of when they drew together. Of every day when they talked and laughed together.

He still didn’t know what had happened to him and maybe he’d never find out. But he would try to find out, no matter where that knowledge took him, if it meant it'd take Ventus' hurt away.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been an hour since Ventus had stopped crying and Vanitas had taken him to the couch, holding him against his chest and waiting for him to calm down. There were no words shared between them, no sound aside from their low breathing and Vanitas played with his hair hoping it’d calm him down. 

“... Van…

“Yeah?”

“... I’m sorry...”

“Shhh...” Vanitas ran his hand up and down his back. “Don’t apologize.”

“No, I...” Ventus sniffled and then sighed. “I really wanted to be there. To join the three of you, I… I saw how disappointed you were when I didn’t.”

“You can meet them some other day. There is no rush.”

“I just...” He sighed and pulled away from Vanitas’ arms, sitting on the couch. Vanitas did the same and looked at him. “I saw you… Playing with them and when I looked at Sora, I...”

“What is it? You can tell me.” He reached for Ventus’ hand, holding it gently. Now that he could feel him, he didn’t want to let go. Ventus didn’t want him to let go either, but...

“... Vani, I… I can’t… Think of a name, but…” He bit his bottom lip. “I think I had a little brother.”

“A brother?” Vanitas frowned but didn’t look away, paying attention... “You… Never mentioned one before.”

“Because I forgot him! But when… When I saw you and Sora, I… I-I felt something. And… And now when I look at the office, I feel even worse than before! I-I think… I-I think it has something to do with him but I don’t want to go there!” He whined, his lips trembling. Vanitas pulled a strand of hair away from his eyes, carefully.

“... Do you remember what he was like? His name? Or...”

“I’m… Not sure. It’s all so confusing. I can only see my own face. And there are so many things going through my head, I...”

“Don’t worry!” Vanitas smiled, but even he could tell something was terribly off. “We’ll figure it out. I’ll help you with it! As I said I would!”

“I think you need to leave.”

“What…?”

Ventus looked away, rubbing at his arm, trying not to cry again. He took a deep breath, looking back at Vanitas but unable to stare into his eyes.

“... Vanitas, I am dead. And you… You’ve grown tired by the day and now… You can literally touch me!”

Vanitas opened his mouth to speak but found out he couldn’t. Whatever he wanted to say, Ventus already knew. It really didn’t make any sense, at all. He had felt Ventus before, but never like this, as if he was really there. As if he were a living person.

“I know.”

“Van, look at me.” It was Ventus who held his face this time and Vanitas leaned on his touch; it didn’t feel as cold as before. “You’re not well, Vani. You look-”

“Sick?” He laughed. “Yeah… Sora said the same thing.”

“This is not good.” Ventus looked down. “You weren’t feeling well already but for you to be able to hold me now… Vanitas, I’m… I’m afraid we… Became too close. I think you should stay away from me while you still have time.”

_You either leave the house… Or find a way to make it leave. For your safety._

“... Ventus, I’m not-”

“For your own sake, Van! You… You know this isn’t right!”

“I know, but-” He sighed. “I can’t just… Leave right now. You remembered something important! I said I was going to help and I’m not going back on my word!”

“But-”

“Look… Listen, I’ll… Go around town. I’ll ask people about it, I-”

“Vanitas, you need to rest! Y-You’ve been looking for information all the time lately, you’ve been so focused on me but what about you?”

“I’m okay, Ven.”

“Vanitas, you are not okay!” Ventus exclaimed, exasperated. “Y-You haven’t taken care of yourself these days, you’re not even focusing on work anymore! You came here to be happy, not to-!”

“I am happy! I… Ventus, I love it here. And I love having you around too.” Vanitas smiled and Ventus held his breath. “I… You’re important to me. And if no one else can help you, then I will!”

“B… But, Vani-”

“And once you finally remember what happened and we find out why you’re still here, I promise I’ll take it easy. Maybe even take a few days off! We can draw and watch movies, hell, we can even play video games! But we need to finish what we started first!”

“Vanitas...” Ventus looked down, torn. He didn’t know if Vanitas even understood what he was saying. Take a few days off? Him? After he remembered everything?

“It’s a promise, Ven. We both get to understand what’s keeping you in here and… And we both force myself to rest and then I’ll keep track of my health. Huh? How about that?”

Ventus smiled at him, his eyes completely covered with tears. He reached for the raven’s face again, stroked his cheeks and leaned closer to him until their foreheads were touching. 

“... Please, p-promise me you’ll be okay.”

Vanitas held his hand against his face, a soft smile on his lips.

“I promise."

* * *

“Sure. I was already gonna go there tomorrow before work. Maybe I can give you a ride? If you’d like?”

Vanitas nodded, not thinking twice. He had to do it. Time was running, his own time was running out, but no matter how tired he felt, he would do it. For Ventus.

The sun hadn’t even come out when he left his house to meet Xehanort in front of the bakery. Ventus observed him leave without saying a word. He was worried but Vanitas wouldn't change his mind.

The way to the cemetery was a silent and depressing one. Vanitas hadn’t looked Xehanort in the eye. He couldn’t bring himself to, for some reason. His focus was only on the road before them and on the people that were already up, walking to or from their houses, walking to their destinations.

He sighed and rubbed his face. The world was such a beautiful place. It was a privilege to be alive, to be able to see so much going on. He knew now there was some sort of life after death, but how good was it? Ventus couldn’t tell him for he didn’t know. And he couldn’t tell him what it was like to know the world either, being stuck in the prison that his home had become.

A sharp pain hit his chest and he squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to lay down for a bit.

“We’re here.”

Vanitas opened his eyes forcefully, looking at Xehanort and then to the tall gates of the cemetery. Only when they were finally in and walking side by side was that he noticed the flower bouquet in Xehanort’s hand. He followed the man wherever he went until they stopped before a tombstone. Vanitas read the name before him in silence.

Eraqus Moore

1964 - 2016

Vanitas swallowed dry, watching the man beside him put the flowers in front of it. He had been so focused on Ventus and himself that he didn’t even notice the bouquet before…

“I… I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Don’t be.” Xehanort smiled at him then looked back to the name engraved on the stone, gently running his fingers on it. ”We lived a happy life together. He’s just in another place now, waiting for me to go meet him.”

Vanitas nodded, unsure of what to say. He sure hoped Eraqus was in a better place, but with Ventus still around there was no way of knowing. He stood still for as long as Xehanort did, giving him his space, and waited for him to move before doing so himself.

“He died of old age.” Xehanort said as they walked. “We were married for thirty years. Was a good man, my Eraqus.”

“I’m sure he was...”

“I miss him. But I do so with a light heart. He did what he was supposed to do and then left... Unlike the poor soul that still inhabits your house.”

 _More like I inhabit his_. Vanitas agreed with his head. 

“To die so young… Alone, above it all… He’s the one you should be sorry for.”

“I know.” Vanitas sighed. “I am.”

The tombstone they were looking for was far in the back, among so many others that had been either forgotten or that simply had no one else to come visit them. Ventus’ name was visible but it had clearly suffered through all the years under the rain and the weather. With time, it would be erased. Gone. Nothing but a memory.

Vanitas looked at it with kindness, doing as Xehanort did and running his fingers over the name. There were no flowers around it neither in front. No flowers for him, no thoughts for the young man who’d cried in his arms last night.

He felt a lump in his throat and looked away for a moment. No matter what happened, even if he could somehow help him remember, then what? What would happen then? Ventus was dead. No one could change that. Would Ventus wander forever, stuck in that house until he died himself, and even after when another person came in to live there? Or would he-

Xehanort put a hand on his shoulder and Vanitas gasped, startled.

“... Are you okay?”

“No.” Vanitas sniffled, feeling his heart aching again. “No, I’m not. But...”

For Ventus.

“... I will be.”

They stood still for a few minutes, just looking at the name. Xehanort couldn’t know about what Vanitas was feeling, not even Vanitas himself could. There were many thoughts in his mind, many ideas, and fear took over his being. 

“Is… His brother here too?” He asked, stepping to the side to look at the other tombstone in search of another Colfer.

“Brother? I only know of his mother."

"Yeah, I... I think he had a..."

He leaned forward, staring intently at the tombstone next to Ventus’. Xehanort frowned at him, walking closer as well, trying to see what he was seeing.

“What does it say…?”

“It says… Colfer here.”

Vanitas cleaned the dust out of the name. It was really old and much harder to see than Ventus’, but he could make out some letters. He followed the trace with his fingers, feeling the shapes of the letters and whispered.

“... Roxas. Roxas Colfer.”

“Roxas…?” Xehanort shook his head. “Never heard of him. When did he die?”

"... In 1966. He was just seven. Jesus..."

“Poor thing...” The man mumbled something. “From what I know, Ventus only came here an adult. Did he live here as a child?”

“I’m not sure. But…” Vanitas took a deep breath. “I’ll find out.”

“How?”

“... I’ll think of something.”

He had the name. The one thing that Ventus couldn’t remember, which separated him from oblivion and truth. Maybe by hearing his name, Ventus would be able to remember more, to do something! Vanitas knew he had to tell him but he still wasn’t sure the outcome would be a good thing. He still didn’t know much about Ventus’ life, he didn’t even know what exactly happened to his mother, but one thing stood out among everything else.

What exactly happened in the office room?

* * *

Vanitas collapsed as soon as he stepped inside his house.

He heard Ventus call for him, but he couldn't see anything or even move. He felt stuck as if his body was being held down, and honestly, it didn't feel too bad. But it must be because now Ventus was literally screaming his name, asking him to please, wake up-!

When he finally came to, he was on his bed. He couldn't remember the last time he struggled this much just to open his eyes and even though he wanted to close them again he couldn't right now. Not with Ventus sitting next to him and stroking his cheek so worriedly.

"W… wha-"

"Shhh… Don't speak." Ventus' voice was low and, Vanitas noticed, heavy with tears. "I've got you."

Vanitas sighed, noticing with certain dread how shaky he was. He turned his head to the side, to look at Ventus, and felt his heart clench seeing so much despair in the blond's eyes.

“... Ventus, why are you crying?”

“Vanitas, y-you need to get out of this house!” Ventus tried again, reaching for his hand and squeezing it in his. “You need to… To go to a hospital, Vanitas-”

“I found something.”

“It doesn’t matter. You need to stop looking, it’s making you si-”

“You said you… Had a sibling...” Vanitas breathed, closing his eyes as he spoke. “I… Went to the cemetery, you were... Buried next to him.”

Ventus pressed his lips together, looking away. The air felt too heavy even for him. “Vanitas, I… Maybe this isn’t a good idea.“

“Ven...”

"Maybe I shouldn’t remember! Maybe I’m not supposed to!” Ventus forced a smile, trying to stop crying. “What if this is how I should live now, in here, forever? To… To stay here and never leave?”

“What if it isn’t?”

“This place is cursed, Vanitas! It is haunted by myself, by whatever feelings I’ve kept inside, and it’s made everyone who ever lived here ill! A-and it’s happening to you! I-It’s happening to you...” 

Vanitas smiled at him, touching his face with his other hand. “... Ven, you’ve wanted to remember for so long...”

“I don’t want to anymore! Not if it means you’ll be like this!” 

He’d gotten too close to him. No one had ever fallen this fast because no one had ever reached for him like this. Vanitas, however, he hadn’t hesitated and now he was too close to the other side, too close to the beyond! He had willingly had taken a step closer to death but Ventus couldn’t allow that, he wouldn’t!

“Vanitas, listen to me! You need to call your siblings! Tell them you need help, ask them to come to get you! I’ll stay away, I shouldn’t be-”

“Your sibling, Ven…!”

Ventus widened his eyes and Vanitas felt his fingers stiffen, still around his hand.

“You… I know his name.”

“... I...”

“You’ve been buried next to them. In this town. But they passed… Years before you.”

Ventus held his breath. His eyes were full of doubt and hopelessness but despite that Vanitas needed to tell him. It was his right to know, he needed to know and if he couldn’t leave the house then-

“What was their name?”

“... Roxas.”

That was it The forgotten name. Vanitas didn’t know what would happen now. Ventus didn't move, still waiting, expecting him to say something more but Vanitas had nothing more to say. Maybe he should really leave the house if Ventus lost control again, but seconds passed and nothing changed. Ventus simply stood still, only looking away to think.

"What… Who was he?"

"You… Can't remember him…?"

Ventus stared at his hands, shaking. "No…. I can’t… Remember his face, all I see is… T… The office. And… It hurts." He sighed, both of his hands on his chest. "It hurts so much… We were… Inseparable.."

Vanitas smiled, looking at him without moving. "That's right. Tell me more…Tell me until you-"

"No! Not before…. Vanitas, please, call your siblings. This place isn't for you!"

"I will... Just…” Vanitas teared up. “I'm so close to helping you, Ven…"

Ventus took a deep breath, giving Vanitas’ hand another squeeze, waiting to see if he was going to react, desperate when he didn’t. 

“V… Vanitas, you… You have to go.”

“Please, don’t leave me...”

Ventus looked away for a moment. If Vanitas wasn't going to leave the house then he should be the one to stay away but he couldn’t simply leave him there. He couldn’t leave him alone.

“Stay...”

Against his will, Ventus lay next to him. He reached for his hand again and pulled Vanitas in his arms. He was…

He was so cold.

"Vanitas… Vanitas, you have to go…"

"Let me stay… Please, just one more day…"

"I-I'm not sure you'll wake up again if you do-!"

There was silence. Not the suffocating kind, nor a scary one. It was peaceful. Vanitas moved closer to the blond who he had grown so fond of, and let himself be held by him. A smile made its way to his lips. He heard Ventus’ choked up sob beside him.

“I’m… So sorry, Ven. You… Didn’t deserve this. You deserved to be happy…”

“Vanitas…” Ventus pulled him closer and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. “You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been...”

There was silence. Not the suffocating kind, nor a scary one. It was peaceful and Vanitas liked it. He could endure one more night, for Ventus. It felt natural, this thing between them. Like a connection of sorts, one both could feel and enjoy. Vanitas liked him, the blond. He liked his smile and his laughter. He liked how sweet he was and he loved his drawings too. He loved him.

Ventus held him tight, pressing yet another kiss to his forehead. 

Vanitas didn’t call his siblings.

* * *

There were footsteps.

Vanitas opened his eyes slowly, no more pain in his body, no more worries pressing into his skull. He blinked a few times and looked around, having never felt so light and carefree as he did now. Despite being able to move, he didn’t at first. First, he held his hands open before himself and looked at them. Someone had been holding them just a while ago.

He found himself in the middle of the street but he knew he wasn’t the only one. There were no people around, no cars, no traffic lights. It was an empty street but it was bathed in light. Taking a few calm steps, he occasionally looked around to find who he was looking for and it didn’t take long for him to find who it was as his eyes fell on someone in the distance.

He blinked a few times again and smiled.

“Ven!”

The blond moved his head but didn’t look at him. His backpack was nowhere to be found and there was no blood on him either. Vanitas smiled bigger and ran after him, knowing there was no hurry this time but unable to stop, holding the blond by his arms once he reached him.

“Hey!”

Ventus turned around and Vanitas’ smile vanished. He was crying.

“Ven…?”

“Vani… Can you hear me?”

“Yes.” Vanitas smiled. “I can hear you, Ven.”

Ventus nodded and held both of his hands. Vanitas didn’t take his eyes off him. He was so beautiful. And all that light… 

“Are you an Angel now?”

Vanitas’ hopeful tone of voice made Ventus giggle to himself, even though it hurt. It hurt so much.

“No. Maybe later...”

“Later? But… I thought we...”

“Not yet. I… I don’t know what happened… In the office room. I-I need you a little bit longer! Can… Can you stay with me?”

“Of course. I’ll always stay with you.”

Ventus closed his eyes, holding Vanitas’ face in his hands.

“You… You need to be strong. Please… D-don’t let me down.“

Vanitas could hear sirens in the distance but he didn’t mind them, just being mildly annoyed at the sound. He enjoyed it here and he enjoyed being here. He could stay here forever.

The street disappeared and they were back to their home, to the corridor that led from the front door to the kitchen, only Vanitas couldn’t tell where he was. He just was. Like energy floating around or even living together with another one, one that came from the blond.

Ventus leaned on the wall. Looking, always looking. Forcing himself to walk forward, but he couldn’t. Roxas, Roxas was his brother. He was his brother, his best friend, but he still had to face that room. 

“I need… To know what’s in that office.” Ventus whispered. “But I need you to stay with me.”

He needed to know. He was scared and tense, but there wasn’t too much time now. Vanitas wouldn’t last for too long, he had to find out before it was too late!

“I am with you.”

He took a step closer. A chill ran down his spine and the cold wind blew against his skin, coming from inside the room. The sirens were getting louder now and he could feel Vanitas drifting away! 

Ventus held the doorknob, closed his fingers around it, and pushed it open.

There was light and Vanitas felt himself being pushed away. Like falling from a high mountain, falling and falling until he finally hit bottom but the pain never came for the fall never came either. He wasn’t anywhere, he simply was, and in this place, he could see from someone else’s eyes.

And he saw him. A seven-year-old Ventus. Running down the stairs with his twin, Roxas, right behind him. 

“It was cold that night.” Ventus’ voice said, coming from nowhere and everywhere. _His_ _Ventus_ ’ voice. “I could feel the wind coming from outside, but didn’t mind it. We were playing catch. We loved to play catch.”

_“Ven! Ven, come here!”_

_“Rox, no! We can’t go to dad’s office!” Ventus said, stepping back. “He’ll be mad at us!”_

_“Shh, he won’t know!”_

_“But-”_

“I… Didn’t want to go in. I knew my father wouldn’t like us there, he always got angry at us when we got close to the place. I didn’t know why. Not until then.”

_“Rox!” Young Ventus whispered, tugging at his brother’s shirt. “We can’t be here, dad will be-”_

_“Come on, I saw him hide something in the drawer! Don’t you want to know what it is?”_

_Ventus looked at his brother with worry and yet a bit of curiosity too. He knew it was wrong to play with his father’s things but he was outside with mom now and that was the best chance they’d have. He looked back to the open door._

_“Whoa...”_

_Roxas smiled at him. He was holding something in front of the now open drawer. Ventus widened his eyes, staring up to his brother in awe._

_“It’s just like in the movies!”_

Ventus’ bottom lip trembled and he clutched at his chest, staring at his father’s gun. Memories came flooding down into his mind, the hurt, all the pain, all at once.

“No...”

_“Rox, we… We shouldn’t play here-!”_

_“Are you… Scared?” Roxas held the gun in front of him and Ventus nodded. Yes, he was scared! If dad found out about it, they’d be in big trouble! And if mom saw them there they’d be in even bigger trouble!_

_“It’s kinda heavy. Here, hold it!” Roxas whispered, pushing the object into Ventus’ small hand._

_“N-No, Rox! I don’t want it! Put it away, please!”_

_“It’s okay, brother! Look, it won’t do anything-”_

_“No, I don’t want it! Take it!”_

Ventus stepped back, the taste of bile coming back through his throat threatening to choke him right where he stood. He wanted to look away, he knew what was coming but he couldn’t see it, he didn’t-

“O-oh, please, no---”

_Ventus held the gun in his hand, crying for his brother to get it back. Roxas had stopped laughing now, seeing his brother’s distress. It could’ve ended right there._

“Please, I…!

_It could’ve ended right there._

“I don’t want to remember-!!”

_With the gun slightly tilted up, Ventus’ little finger fell heavy on the trigger. The sound of the gunshot exploded in his ears and he closed his eyes, letting go of the weapon, stumbling back and losing his balance. The little boy shook his head, looking up at his brother._

_“R… Rox…?”_

_There was a hole on the wall right where the bullet got stuck. Stuck to the wall after moving through the face of the little boy who now lay on the floor._

_“Brother…?!”_

“I...”

_“Ventus? Ventus, what was th- Oh my God--!”_

_Ventus didn’t move from where he was standing. The gun was still next to his feet and the bullet was still stuck to the wall, but his brother would be okay, he would be okay, wouldn’t he? He would be okay!_

_His mother’s scream pierced his ears and soon enough his father came into the room, rushing to his twin, staring at him in shock then back to Ventus, his eyes falling on the gun._

_“What did you do?!”_

_“I-I… ”_

_“What did you do-?!?”_

“I killed my brother.”

Ventus stumbled back. It was cold and dark and different images passed before his eyes. Memories that had been pushed away from his sight forcefully, things he had tried so hard to forget-

“I killed my brother. In the same room that is now your office. My dad's office back then. "

_He watched his parents run out of the house, screaming and crying for help, calling for their neighbors, for anyone who could please, save their little boy. But Ventus didn’t move. He was left standing on the same spot where he had been before, only now the gun had been taken away. Standing before a pool of blood, trying to understand why his brother hadn’t stood up when he called._

_“Why, Roxas?? Why my poor baby…”_

“They hated me. I had… Killed their precious son, their favorite one. It should’ve been me instead. But I hadn’t pointed the gun to myself. Not yet.”

_Ventus’ father pulled him by his arm to the car and the young boy stared at the house he had called home for so many years. His mother didn't say goodbye to them, She didn't even look when they left, not at him at least. She'd stay on the house, alone with her memories of better days before her son was killed. To her, she had no more children. The guilt destroyed her. She blamed herself for leaving her two boys to play alone. Blamed herself for not checking on the gun to make sure it was unloaded._

_And Ventus..._

"I could never forgive myself for what I did."

_The bullet was removed from the wall but the hole was never really fixed. Instead, it was hidden. Kept away behind a painting his mother hung up. And once Ventus returned years later to what was his and his brother's house to study and take care of his bed-ridden mother, it'd be his own painting that would hide the hole._

_And no one would ever know of what happened. No one but the one who’d pulled the trigger._

"I couldn't stare to mirrors because I never saw myself in them. I only saw him. Staring at me with hatred. Blaming me for his death. He was right to do so, and so were my parents. It shouldn't have been Roxas. It should've been me instead. No matter what I did, I couldn’t run away from the blame. I wanted it all to end but couldn’t bring myself to do it. And then she...”

_Ventus arrived home late that day. It was cold and dark and he couldn't wait to go inside, make sure his mother was alright, and go to bed._

_"Mom?"_

_But she didn't answer him. He continued, looking for her, but she wasn't in her bed. He called and called, checking the second flood then running downstairs, calling and calling until he finally found her._

_"Mom? Mother?!"_

_He knelt next to her; she was on the floor, cold and unmoving. She was dead but didn't seem to be in pain. She looked in peace. She looked..._

_Ventus held her, he held her for over an hour, not able to understand what had happened and even when he did he didn't know what to do. His heart shattered and he pushed himself away, sat at the corner of the kitchen and hid his face behind his hands, weeping, screaming. Ashamed._

"I couldn't take it anymore. I never really…Wanted to move on but seeing her dead, she… She looked so... Peaceful."

There was a street. The same one Vanitas found himself on in his dreams. 

"It wasn't hard to get a gun back then. I knew where to get it. I decided that, if was going, I deserved to go just like Roxas. So I got myself one and hid it in my backpack…"

_He waved and smiled at everyone on the street. He smiled at them, hoping at least one person would see just how much he was hurting. He smiled, hoping someone, anyone would cross the street after him, that someone would hold him and tell him they were listening, tell him he wasn’t alone, tell him they could hear his cry and feel his pain!_

_No one did._

_There was silence. Nothing but the footsteps around the house, his own footsteps as he walked through every room. As he looked at every little thing, his home sweet home. Except it had never been home, not after Roxas died._

_Sitting on his bed, he held the gun in his hands with gentleness. And he waited for an hour. Waited_ _for a miracle to happen, for one of his colleagues to call him, for a friend to say they missed him, waited for anything to happen that would help him change his mind._ _And he cried. He cried because he missed Roxas but he wasn’t even sure he'd see him once he was gone. He missed his father and he missed his mother because even though they hated him after what happened he still loved them. And he couldn’t blame them for feeling the way they did. He hated himself too._

"But no one came. The silence was so loud... It was suffocating. It had been months since I'd dropped off college but no one ever gave me a call. No one ever sent me a message, no one missed me. I was alone, I was going to die without being remembered. I was going to be just a memory until I was completely forgotten. No one would even remember I had been here one day. So I pulled the trigger."

Vanitas heard the gunshot. The street disappeared and he opened his eyes, in control of himself again. Standing, facing the broken blond who looked at him. Vanitas couldn’t tell where they were; they were nowhere. They just were.

“I pushed my memories away. Kept them hidden, just like the hole on the wall. This was my home when I was a kid but it became hell as I grew up. And now it’s my priso-”

“No!”

Ventus stopped talking. Vanitas stared at him, his sight blurred with tears.

“Ventus… This… I’m so sorry this happened to you, but… Ven, it was an accident.”

The blond looked down, embarrassed and unable to face him. “If I hadn’t gone through with it, he’d still be alive. It was I who pulled the trigger-”

“Ventus, you were a child!” He approached him, putting his hands on his shoulders. “It was an accident. Your parents… You needed them! They should’ve helped you, they should’ve been with you, you had to heal together!”

“They needed me too. And I… I couldn’t help them...”

“You were a child!” Vanitas repeated and held Ventus’ hand with both of his, staring deep into his eyes, tears falling from his own. “V-Ven, what happened was a tragedy. You can’t blame yourself for Roxas’ death forever. He wouldn’t want that!”

“Maybe he would. I took his future away. I took… Everything...”

“Ventus, look at me.” Vanitas tightened his grip around Ventus' hand. He held them tight, still as close to him as he could be. “... Ventus, you’re the brightest person I’ve ever met. You’re… You’re kind. And gentle. You’re a good person, Ven! All that happened… You didn’t deserve it and I’m so sorry no one reached you in time!”

Vanitas tried to hold his tears back but he couldn’t. Ventus never wanted to avenge anything, he wasn’t an evil or vengeful spirit. He had been stuck there all this time because he couldn't forgive himself. All he wanted was for someone to tell him everything would be okay. All he wanted was for someone to reach for him but no one ever did. He was remembered by his smile and by how cheerful he was, but it took everyone three entire days to notice he was gone! 

“V-Ven, I’m so sorry…! I would do anything to go back and help you back then!” 

Ventus smiled at him just as the sirens got louder. He touched his face and pulled him in his arms, kindly kissing his cheek.

“Vanitas… You have to go...”

“No! I’m not going anywhere! Not until...”

_Not until you forgive yourself._

“Vanitas...” Ventus tightened his embrace around him. Vanitas was cold but the sirens were still loud. He could feel them coming. “Vani, can you… Promise me one thing?”

The raven looked up at him in despair. He tried to hold on to tighter Ventus but he couldn’t feel him anymore.

“V… Ven...?”

Ventus’ lips trembled but he smiled at him. Ventus’ smile was warm and soft, gentle and kind. Vanitas loved his smile.

“Can you promise... That you won’t forget me?”

Vanitas’ vision grew darker and his breathing harsher by the second. He tried to scream but no sound came out of his mouth. He stretched his hand toward Ventus and tried to walk to him but he was being pulled away, away from him, away from the one he wanted to be with-

“Vanitas...” Ventus’ voice spoke to him and he closed his eyes. “Don’t ever change.”

* * *

“...itas…. Vanitas….!”

He couldn’t see anything. His mind was heavy, his body hurt and he really didn’t want to open his eyes, but the voice was insistent. 

“Vanitas….Brother, please.....!”

He didn’t want to listen to the voice. He had been feeling calm and nice just a few seconds ago. It was warm and he felt comfortable, but now his body was aching. Why couldn’t he stay where he was? Why couldn’t he stay with Ventus?

“V… Ven…”

“Vanitas!!” He felt someone touch his face. It wasn’t Ventus’ touch but it was familiar. “Oh, Van, please wake up...!”

Where wasVentus? He was always with him and they had been together just now, hadn’t they? Where was he now, where had he gone to?

Vanitas forced himself to open his eyes. He stared at nowhere, too tired to focus, but still tried to find the blond. Before him, however, was someone else. He blinked a few times, their faces slowly coming into view, their sobs finally heard.

“B-big brother… H-hi…!” Xion whispered, still touching his face, and Sora squeezed his hand, joining her silent cry.

“Vani! We’re here! You’re okay, you’ll be okay…!”

He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again, still trying to make sense of everything. His siblings stood by his side, not saying anything but being there for him, and soon enough a doctor came into the room. Vanitas didn’t pay attention to them, his mind far from there, back to his home. He wanted to go home.

“W… What happened?” He asked, and even though his voice was still low and weak he was finally truly awake. Xion teared up and Sora moved closer to him, running his fingers down his hair the same way Vanitas did with him when he was young.

“We… We got a call.” Xion started, drying the tears with the back of her hand. “F-From your number. We thought it was you...”

Vanitas widened his eyes, looking from one to the other. “W… Who…?”

“We... Don’t know. But we can talk about this later, Van. You need to res-”

“I’m fine!” He replied and tried to sit down, but was held back by both of his siblings. 

“Brother, no, not just yet!” Sora exclaimed, tense. “You’re still weak!”

“I’m better.” And he was. The more he woke up the better he felt. It was almost like an unseen weight had fallen off his shoulders. As if something had…

As if something had left.

“Who called you?” He insisted and they shared glances, eyes just as wide as Vanitas’. They hesitated.

“We… We don’t know.” It was Sora who spoke. “I’m sure it was a man, but his voice was… Weird. Like… Static. As if he was-”

“Somewhere else. Like… Speaking from someone really far, it was so strange. But he said you were in danger and he told us your name and address, so we came as fast as we could!”

Vanitas held his hands together against his mouth. He could feel his stomach churning.

“He… Called an ambulance?”

“We think so. Do… Do you know him, Van?” Xion asked. “He called from your phone but… The doctor told us they found you home alone.”

His eyes started burning and he closed them, thinking. Like a weight off his chest. Please, _call your siblings._

“He...”

Vanitas looked down.

“... Please, take me home.”

Xion pressed her lips together with worry. “We can’t take you home, Van. Not yet! You’re under observation, your blood pressure was too low, you-”

“I need to go home. Right now.” He asked again and a few tears escaped his eyes as he stared at them. “Please, we can come back later, but I need-”

“Vanitas, we can’t! The doctors won’t let us!” Sora said, thinking that was a good enough excuse but Vanitas didn’t care about it, not at all. He wanted to go home, to go and see Ventus, to talk to him again. To ask if it worked, to ask if he was okay, to ask if he was still there!

“Vanitas, were you living with someone? Is that who called us?” Xion asked again, careful. “You don't need to hide that from us, it's okay...”

“I...” 

He looked behind them, looked around the bed and even at the ceiling. There was nothing. No sensation, no aura, no anything. He didn’t want to believe his heart but it was telling him the truth and even though he knew that would happen in the end he didn’t want it to...!

I-I...” Vanitas bit his bottom lip. He didn’t know, there was no way of knowing before going back home, but somehow, for some reason, he knew it was over. They had succeeded. Ventus has succeeded.

He turned on his side and covered his mouth with his hand, curling around his body and crying. Everything around him, it all felt too loud. He needed that silence again, he needed that peace he felt before.

“I-I want to go h-home…!”

* * *

It had been three days since he was sent to the hospital.

Vanitas hadn’t said a word, not from the moment they left, not until they arrived. He did nothing but stare out of the window, watching the road before them. Staring at the houses they passed by, at the children who played together. He looked but paid no attention to them. 

Sora helped him out of the car, holding his hand when he walked. Vanitas felt better, much better, but was still recovering from his… Almost death. Nodding to Sora, telling him to let go, he walked alone up the front stairs, the key in his hand.

He unlocked the door and stood still. The corridor in front of him was filled with paintings on the wall, paintings Xion herself had made for him. And to the left, there was the door to his office, a rather small room with enough space for him to draw. Enough space for two.

He went inside the room. There was nothing different, everything just the way he'd left it, from his chair being close to the desk to the painting on the wall. The waterfall. He stretched his arms and reached for it. Taking a deep breath, Vanitas held on tight to the frame and gave it just a light tug, pulling the painting from its place easily and softly. With no more resistance. With nothing else keeping it stuck.

Vanitas felt a lump on his throat and touched the wall. The secret he had wanted to see for so long. A small hole made by a bullet.

Shaking, he looked down at the desk and finally noticed something was off. His sketchbook was on it. He hadn’t left it there, he had left it in his room, he was sure of that. Sniffling, he gently touched the cover before opening it and going through every page, smiling at the drawings. His initial sketches, then his tiger. And then all of Ventus’ work.

He didn’t move, not before he went through them all. They were beautiful. They were… Unique. Pieces the world had never seen before, pieces that were now in his possession from someone who had had so many dreams in the past. He kept holding it in, kept himself from crying out loud until he reached the final page and his heart missed a beat.

A small sketch of a bunny was in the corner of the page. He could tell it had been made in a hurry by how messy the lines were but even then it was beautiful. It wasn’t the drawing that made him break down again, however. Each drawing was a piece of art he’d care for, but they weren’t the reason why he fell on his knees and howled in pain.

It was the words written next to it. Ventus’ handwriting.

_Thanks for the memories._

* * *

“Are you sure you don’t want us to go with you?”

“Yes. I am sure.”

“Brother… ”

“Don’t worry. I’m alright. Just take care of the house while I’m gone, yeah?”

“Of course. Just don’t take too long!”

Vanitas smiled as he remembered these words while driving down the streets. It was a beautiful day. Of course, every Saturday was beautiful to him, a day where he could relax, forget about work and enjoy his day.

It took him just a few minutes. Vanitas parked outside, picked the two bouquets of flowers from the passenger’s seat in his arms, and left the car.

There was no one there except for him and it was silent, just the way he liked it. He breathed in the cold, welcome breeze that blew against his skin, walking calmly and with no hurry. There was no need to hurry. Not anymore.

He stopped before the once abandoned tombstone for the third time that month and smiled down at the name before him. He placed one of the bouquets in front of the oldest one then once again turned to the one he was fond of the most. The tombstone of a person he'd been lucky enough to meet.

“I miss you.”

It was a beautiful day.

“I miss you so much.”

A cold, gentle breeze blew against his skin. For a moment, Vanitas could swear someone touched his shoulder, and he could swear someone had intertwined their fingers with his. He didn’t move, not until these sensations went away as he knew they would, and once they did he smiled and put the flowers before Ventus’ resting place.

Ventus Colfer. He, who had stopped receiving flowers a long time ago, would always receive them now for the next sixty years. His drawings, once just a thought, would be looked at and shared among people. His voice, his sweet, gentle voice, would echo in Vanitas’ mind whenever he lay down to sleep.

He wouldn't be forgotten. He was and would always be much more than a memory. 

And for him, Vanitas mourned.


End file.
